Share my Thoughts
by Misanagi
Summary: Rewritten:: Quatre seems different and the other pilots would do anything to find out what happened to him. 3x4, 1x2, 5xS
1. Chapter 1

**Share my Thoughts**

**By Misanagi**

Rated: PG13

Archive: Gundanium Line

Warnings: Shonen ai, angst.

Pairings: 3x4, 1x2, 5xS

Summary: Quatre seems different and the other pilots would do anything to find out what happened to him.

Timeline: After the Endless Waltz.

Feedback: Yes, please.

Notes: This is my first GW fanfic. I rewrote it and I'll be posting the chapters as soon as they are done. If you read this before (which I doubt) the plot is still the same, I just changed some style things.

Dedication: To Anne, for her patience. Thanks a lot for beta reading this twice. gives her some chocolate to feed her addiction and some carrots to feed her bunnies

"blah" = Talking

'blah' = Thought (well duh!)

* * *

**Chapter I**

"What did you say?" asked Duo, forgetting to close his mouth when he had finished speaking.

"I just said that I think that having a child is the representation of the selfishness of mankind," Quatre repeated. He was leaning against the hallway wall and his expression seemed relaxed as he talked.

"But, Quatre, you love children." Duo was sitting at the edge of the sofa, looking at Quatre from across the room, with confused eyes.

"Of course I love children, Duo; they are pure souls. And that has absolutely nothing to do with the issue." Quatre liked to use that matter-of-fact tone when he wanted a discussion to be over. He tried not to use it much with his friends but he had told Trowa that it came very handy when dealing with board members.

"How can you like children and still be against the idea of reproducing?" asked Heero. As always, he tried to view things in a critical way. Quatre's statement had probably not made much sense to him.

The evening had started simply enough: Duo had suggested that they watched a movie after dinner. It was one of those family films, a comedy portraying a family's problems in an amusing way, hoping to get a few laughs out of the audience. How did that had transformed into a debate on reproduction, Trowa didn't know.

Trowa had remained silent during most of the discussion because, frankly, he didn't know what to say. He and Quatre had been together for a couple of years, but they had never talked about having children before. Trowa didn't actually know what the parenting thing was all about; he couldn't remember his own parents so his concept of family was practically non-existent. He didn't think that he would know what to do with a child and he wouldn't subject a vulnerable creature to his horrible parenting. It wasn't the child's needs that worried him - Trowa knew he could take care of those, but the responsibility. Raising a child was just too much for a former terrorist. Trowa had fought for what he thought was right and he didn't regret anything he had done but he hardly thought of himself as a good role model.

Quatre, on the other hand, would be a great parent. Trowa didn't know a great deal about Quatre's relationship with his father; Quatre didn't talk much about it and Trowa didn't ask. He knew that it was a painful subject for Quatre and that the blond hadn't truly ever stopped blaming himself for the Zero system incident, but maybe the roots of Quatre's reluctance to have a child had something to do with his family and the way that he had been raised.

"I like children. I just don't think /I/ should have any." Quatre was getting tired; it was evident in his tone of voice. After all, he had been working almost non-stop. Maybe it was time to talk to him and convince him to take things easy. Quatre could use some rest. "It's just my opinion," Quatre continued. "I'm not judging anyone; it's just not something I would do."

"That's funny," said Duo, but there was no amusement in his voice. "I always pictured you as the father type."

Quatre just shook his head and gave them a little smile. "I'm sorry," he said after a moment, "but I'm really tired, so I think I'll go to bed early."

Everyone stayed silent as Quatre left the room. Trowa looked at his lover walk to the stairs. There was definitely something going on with Quatre, something more that simple tiredness.

"That wasn't right," said Duo when he heard the upstairs door shut. "Did you guys check out his eyes? They were so sad, not like Quatre at all."

Heero nodded, his eyes still fixed on the door Quatre had used to exit the room.

"I think Quatre is right," commented Wufei. "We are not the type of people who could have a middle class house with a noisy family and a day job. It's just not us."

"I know that," answered Duo. "It's not what he said, it's just the way he said it. It was like he had a haunted look in his eyes. Have you ever seen him like that, Trowa?"

Trowa didn't turn his eyes from the stairs. "I'm not sure," he finally said. "Sometimes for a split second I can see it in him, but he banishes it so fast. This is the first time it has lasted so long. I think it has something to do with his father."

Trowa noticed Heero watching him and he could tell that even though his facial expression hadn't changed, Heero could see that he was worried. "His father," Heero said, but it wasn't a question.

"It's not the Zero system," said Trowa shaking his head. "It's something else. I think that work is affecting Quatre more that he thinks. Having to take over his father's role is more painful for him that he lets on. He never wanted the job, but now he has to do it."

Wufei looked at Trowa. "It sounds like unresolved issues between him and his father. Unfortunately there is nothing he can do about that now."

"Maybe his sisters can help him?" asked Duo. "They are his family so maybe we can talk to them? I'm just thinking out loud but Quatre seems to need help and unfortunately I don't think we can help him if we don't even know what's going on." Duo stopped for a moment to organize his thoughts. "Whatever is bothering Quatre has been bothering him for a long time. He's really not good at talking about what was his life like before the wars but if we want to help him we need to know how this problem with his father started."

"So you are suggesting we talk to his sisters so they can tell us a bit about Quatre?" asked Heero.

"Exactly," confirmed Duo, nodding his head.

Wufei shook his head once. "I don't like going behind Quatre's back. I think we should ask him and let him tell us what he wants us to know."

"Besides," interrupted Trowa. "Quatre doesn't get along with any of his sisters." It was something that Trowa thought was weird. Quatre had so many sisters and none of them really cared for him. They called constantly but they treated Quatre as a business associate, not a brother. Quatre had told him once that they didn't really know each other so that it wasn't such strange behavior. However, to Trowa, it was. Trowa had found his sister after being apart for so many years. They didn't know each other either but that hadn't stopped Cathy from loving him. Quatre had many sisters, but they weren't there for him.

"But I still don't know about asking Quatre, at least not yet." Duo bit his bottom lip before continuing. "Every time the subject of his father comes up, Quatre gets really depressed, and it's not just because his father is dead but because it reminds him of the Zero System incident, and what he did to Trowa." Duo took a deep breath. "I know that eventually we will have to talk to Quatre but I just don't think this is the right moment."

There was a moment of silence. "If we do this, when we finally talk to Quatre, we will tell him everything we did and every person we talked to," said Wufei. "He has the right to know."

Duo nodded. "Trowa, what do you think?"

Trowa was in two minds. He was worried about Quatre and wanted to help him but he wasn't sure that Quatre would approve of what they were planning to do. On the other hand, helping Quatre was a priority and they would be telling him everything when the time was right. "Okay," he said after a moment. Quatre would probably be mad with him but Quatre's wellbeing was more important.

"I think our best bet is Rashid," said Duo. "He has known Quatre longer than we have and he can be trusted. Besides, he cares for Quatre just as much as we do."

"I can set up a meeting," said Trowa. Talking with Rashid seemed like the best course of action, and Trowa wasn't feeling as helpless as he had been for the past few days. He moved from his place at the wall and walked to the stairs. "I'm going to check on Quatre. Good night."

After walking up the stairs, Trowa opened the door to his and Quatre's room and entered quietly. The lights and the television were still on and Quatre was lying on the bed, fully clothed, with the remote in his hand. Quatre's eyes were closed and his breathing was even; he was asleep.

* * *

Trowa woke up the next morning to the sound of one of his favorite tunes. Even though they were in a time of peace now, he awoke instantly with the smallest of noises and was completely alert from the first note. He waited a couple of moments to see if Quatre was up and would turn off the stereo, but nothing happened.

Finally, Trowa turned around to face a very happy and very asleep Arabian blond. Quatre was having a good dream and Trowa knew that didn't happen often. He was torn between waking Quatre up, or letting him sleep, but after remembering that there was a reason for the alarm clock to be set at that time, Trowa pressed his lips to his lover's cheek.

Quatre just smiled but stayed asleep.

'This is going to be more difficult than I thought.' Trowa knew from previous experience that waking Quatre was a complicated job that required expertise and a very skillful person. In the beginning of their relationship Trowa had once tried to wake Quatre up by putting a hand in his shoulder and shaking him while calling his name. It turned out that it was the wrong way of doing it. Very angry aquamarine eyes had stared at him while Quatre cursed him in every language he knew for waking him up and in such a horrible way. That was the day that Trowa had met "Cranky Morning Cat", as he had baptized him, and since that day he had tried to avoid him as best as he could. "Cranky Morning Cat", or CMC for short, disappeared as soon as Quatre took a bath or some caffeine entered his body in the form of tea, coke or on, rare occasions, coffee.

Trowa had no intentions of meeting CMC that day so he began petting Quatre gently and giving him soft kisses from time to time. That was the only way CMC wouldn't make an unwanted appearance.

Quatre slowly opened his eyes. He was probably debating between staying in dreamland or answering the call of the sensations the real world was providing him. Trowa hoped that he was doing a good job in convincing Quatre that waking up wasn't so bad. After a while, Quatre's eyes finally focused on Trowa's.

"Good Morning," murmured Quatre. His voice was raspy and he was blinking and rubbing his eyes.

Trowa stared at Quatre with some amusement. The blond looked incredibly young when he was waking up.

"Mmm what time is it?" asked Quatre between yawns.

"Seven," Trowa replied, after taking a look at his watch.

"Seven?" Quatre jumped from the bed, suddenly completely awake. "I'm late!" he announced as he dashed to the bathroom.

"You are always late," commented Trowa, "but somehow you always manage to get there on time…"

His only answer was the sound of the water running. Trowa smiled and closed his eyes again. It was way too early for him to wake up.

* * *

Quatre gave Trowa a soft kiss and left him sleeping pleasantly in their bed. He dashed down the stairs and towards the kitchen, pausing only to grab a coke can from the fridge. There was no time to make tea or coffee but he still needed his caffeine fix. When he turned to go to the garage, he ran into someone with such force that he would have hit the floor if it wasn't for the strong arms keeping him upright.

"Good morning, Heero," said Quatre when he finally looked at the person holding him.

Heero smirked and released Quatre after he was sure that the blond wasn't going to fall. "Why are you awake this early?" he asked.

"I have an early meeting today," answered Quatre. He opened the can and took a big gulp of the soda. "I tried to reschedule. You know me; normally I am not in the office before ten, but there was nothing I could do."

"And where are your bodyguards?" Heero didn't look pleased. There was even an accusing light in his eyes. Obviously, he didn't like the idea of Quatre leaving the house unprotected. Quatre was a public figure and as head of Winner Enterprises, and colony representative, he was one of the most important men alive. His identity as a Gundam Pilot hadn't been revealed but there were still many people who could take profit in harming Quatre Winner.

"Oh, there is no need for them," said Quatre dismissively, heading again for the door. "They are okay for those colony meetings and important events but I'm just going to the office…"

Heero was still looking at him the same way. "Quatre, you can be a target anywhere."

Quatre stopped again. "Well that's true, but you and I know that I'm not the defenseless rich boy the media thinks I am. I can get myself to the office just fine, don't worry." Quatre smiled, looked at his watch and tried again to reach the door. He sighed when Heero put a hand on his shoulder, stopping his attempt to get on time to the office again. Heero swiftly pressed his hands around Quatre's chest and after a moment, gave him an approving look.

"You see, I'm not careless," said Quatre when Heero was done with his inspection. "I have my gun right here. Now can I please go? I'm already late."

Heero nodded and stepped away from the door. Quatre gave him another smile and hurried to the garage.

Quatre stood for a moment, deciding which car to take. The garage was a very big room and there were a lot of vehicles there. Each one was unique; all the pilots had worked on them so that the features in each were much more than anyone would have thought. Quatre had planned to take his black convertible but since the talk with Heero had taken most of his spare time, he quickly jumped on his motorcycle. Quatre had worked on that machine for days and he loved it. One of the many advantages of knowing how to build a Gundam was being able to make some new toys for himself. His motorcycle was incredibly fast and Quatre, being an experienced pilot, knew how to handle it.

He snapped out of his daydream and looked at his watch. He had ten minutes to make it to the other side of town. Quatre smirked; he was never late and he wasn't going to start now.

* * *

Heero watched from the window as Quatre drove off at an alarming speed. He smirked when he saw the coke can enter the trash container at the gate, before Quatre disappeared from sight.

"He always had great aim," commented Duo, putting his arms around Heero from behind.

Heero turned around and kissed Duo good morning. "And what are you doing awake this early on our day off? It isn't lunch time yet."

Duo smiled. "I know but I heard Quatre leaving and I thought that this would be a great time to call Rashid. He's going to be out all day so we can use the time."

Heero had a bad feeling about what was going on with Quatre. He didn't know what it was but there was something in Quatre's eyes that told him whatever was going on was more serious than family problems. He had decided to keep his suspicions to himself, at least until he was sure about them. There was no use in worrying everyone when he could be mistaken. Besides, he had no concrete evidence yet, but as soon as he got some, he was going to talk to Trowa. "I don't think Trowa is up and he is the one who is going to call him."

"So go wake him up," replied Duo. "I'll go and look for Wufei; he must be exercising in the yard."

Heero nodded and headed for Trowa and Quatre's room. He knocked softly and waited. Soon a groan was heard from inside and Heero interpreted it as an invitation to go in.

"Trowa," he said as he entered the room. Ignoring Trowa's incoherent mumbles, Heero opened the curtains and avoided the pillow that was thrown his way. "I think being near Quatre this long is giving you your own case of CMT," he commented, smiling at the look on his friend's face.

"Why are you here?" asked Trowa, sitting up, fully awake and still glaring.

"Duo sent me," replied Heero. "He wants you to make the call."

"I called Rashid yesterday," Trowa informed Heero as he made himself comfortable in bed again. "Now kindly close the curtains and wake me up in two hours. We're going to meet Rashid for lunch."

Heero smirked and ignored Trowa's request. "Well, since you are already awake you might as well get up."

Trowa glared and groaned. "Remind me to hit you later," he said, sitting up slowly.

Heero smirked and walked to the door. "Sure thing. Now go and shower," he said as he left the room, closing the door before another pillow could smash him in the face.

* * *

The restaurant was a very private place and Duo thought that maybe it was owned by the Maguanacs, since there seemed to be no other customers. They were seated in the floor in front of a nice table filled with delicacies. Duo had tasted the hospitality of the Maguanacs when he and Quatre had hidden together in one of their villages, and he hadn't forgotten the really good food they served.

It was a feast. They ate kibbes, falafel and cuscus, while talking about many different things. Dessert came and Duo enjoyed the almonds and cakes but stayed away from the Halva. He'd had a close encounter with the horrible substance the Maguanacs dared to call sweet, and had vowed to stay away from it forever. [1]

"Thanks for the food, it was great," said Duo as he patted his stomach, and the others nodded in agreement.

Rashid bowed his head a little. "I'm glad that it was to your liking." He stared at them for a moment and adopted a more serious look. "But I'm sure you didn't call me just to have lunch, so what is the problem?"

Duo smirked. Of course Rashid knew they were up to something. One didn't become the leader of the Maguanacs without very good instincts. "We are worried about Quatre," said Duo, opting for a direct approach. "He's been acting weird. Nothing too obvious, but we know him well and there is something troubling him."

Rashid frowned and Duo could see the concern reflected on the Maguanac's face. "You came to see me because you want my help?" It was obvious that Rashid cared about Quatre. What Duo had seen during the wars was enough proof. It was funny in a way how Quatre talked about Rashid and the Maguanacs all the time, and yet Duo knew nothing about Quatre's biological family. He guessed that proved that there was more to family that a simple blood relation.

"Yes," admitted Duo. "Yesterday we were talking and Quatre said some things that made us think that maybe his father is the cause of the problem. We don't know much about Quatre's relationship with his father. We don't ask a lot of questions because we know it's a painful subject for him." Duo shot Rashid a look. "So we thought we could ask you, since you have known him longer."

"Not much longer," commented Rashid, crossing his arms over his chest.

Duo looked at Rashid, confused, and then glanced at his friends, noticing by their expressions that they were also puzzled.

"Haven't you known him since he was a little boy?" Heero asked, regarding Rashid with an intense gaze.

Rashid shook his head. "Not that little. I met Master Quatre when he was thirteen." It was Rashid who gave Duo the confused look this time. "He never told you about that?"

"No." Duo was feeling very clueless at that moment; something he didn't like one bit. He sighed. "We just assumed that you worked for Quatre's father or something…"

Rashid's eyes went wide for a moment. "You are mistaken," he said, with a hint of amusement in his voice. "I met Master Quatre when we kidnapped his shuttle."

"You kidnapped his shuttle?" repeated Wufei. He sounded calm but there was some criticism hidden in his voice.

"Please, let me finish," replied Rashid calmly. "We were going to free some workers and we needed the Winner shuttle to do so." Rashid smiled softly, as the memories of that time came to his mind. "Master Quatre was such a brat back then. He didn't care about anything, not even himself. We were kidnapping him and he was bored. He told us that he had no value and that if he died they would just make another one. He never told me much about his childhood but I don't think it was as happy as he wants us to think; he was a very lost boy when I met him."

Duo blinked a few times "Quatre was a brat?"

"He wasn't that bad," said Rashid. "He just didn't care." He closed his eyes for a moment and then continued. "When we contacted Mr. Winner, he asked to talk to Master Quatre. That's when I learnt that Master Quatre was running away. He thought he was just a creation; that he existed only because his father needed an heir. He spoke with such self hatred that I did the only thing I could to help him: I hit him."

"You hit Quatre?" asked Heero, in an even tone.

Rashid nodded. "The boy had no pride in himself. I'm also a test tube baby - all the Maguanacs are - so I couldn't stand hearing him talk like that."

"You didn't hit Quatre too hard, did you?" asked Duo, giving Rashid a disapproving glare.

The Maguanac gave them a sheepish look. "I was actually surprised that he didn't fall down or cry. That's when I first knew he was stronger than he looked, and he proved it to me not much later."

Duo was still thinking about a thirteen year old Quatre being hit by someone as strong as Rashid, but the man's next words caught his attention again.

"He saved my life, all of our lives."

There was a moment of silence and Duo realized that if he wanted an explanation he would have to ask for it. "Man, you can't just say something like that and not give more details."

Rashid smiled and Duo could see, not for the first time, how Rashid's smile was always filled with pride when he talked about Quatre. "We had a traitor. Master Quatre discovered him and somehow managed to capture him and bring him to us. However, the traitor freed himself and shot me. Master Quatre pushed me out of the way and the bullet only hit me in the arm. It hit him too. My wound would have been fatal if it wasn't for Master Quatre."

"That's Quatre," agreed Duo, smiling. "He's as strong as an ox under those deceiving elegant clothes."

Rashid nodded and continued. "After that, we were attacked by the Alliance and Master Quatre insisted on fighting with us. I let him borrow my suit." The proud smile was becoming more evident with every word Rashid spoke. "He surprised us all. Not only was he a very skilful pilot, but he also directed my men in battle. Thanks to him, we managed to distract the enemy suits long enough for the prisoners to be evacuated. However, there were still twenty suits ready to attack us as soon as we decided to go back to Earth so Master Quatre sent all of my men back to the ship and pursued the enemy alone. He won and thanks to him we were able to return home. Since then, the Maguanacs are in his debt so we call him Master Quatre to show our respect."

Silence filled the room for a moment. Duo knew what Quatre was capable of; he had fought alongside him and put his life in Quatre's hands many times. Quatre had never told him why the Maguanacs called him "Master", and Duo had just assumed that it was something they did because of Quatre's money or social prestige. Duo couldn't help but laugh quietly at himself. It had been naïve of him to assume that a group of strong soldiers like the Maguanacs could be bought. No, those men didn't just give their loyalty to anyone. One had to prove to be worthy, and Quatre had done that.

Wufei interrupted the silence, putting Duo's thoughts into words. "It was Quatre's strength which earned him the Maguanacs respect and their loyalty, not his family name." The words were delivered calmly and in a neutral tone that to most might seem even bored, but Duo knew better. In his quiet and sometimes seemingly detached way, Wufei was amazed.

This was why the Maguanacs were so important to Quatre. They were the first people who trusted him because of who he was and not for being a Winner. Their respect was the first thing that Quatre had earned for himself.

"The next time I saw Master Quatre," said Rashid, "was when he came to Earth to join us, and had a Gundam with him. I'm sorry if I wasn't much help but that was the only time I met Master Quatre before he became a Gundam Pilot."

"You helped a lot." Everyone turned to look at Trowa since it was the first time he'd spoken. Trowa was looking at his hands but raised his eyes to met Rashid's. "I understand him much better now. Thank you."

It was a moment before Rashid spoke again. "I know that Master Quatre was not a happy child. I saw it in his eyes then. When he came to Earth he was another person, stronger and more confident in himself, but some of the sadness he had, never left those eyes." Rashid took a sip of water from the glass in front of him. "I care for him and I know that there are no other people who love him as we do, other than you four. If he hasn't spoken to you, then he hasn't spoken to anyone. You'll have to talk to him."

The boys nodded and after saying their goodbyes, they left the restaurant and headed back to the house. After speaking with Rashid one thing was clear: they couldn't postpone it anymore, they needed to speak with Quatre tonight.

TBC

* * *

Notes:

[1] If you have ever eaten Halva you should know what I'm talking about.


	2. Chapter 2

**

* * *

Share my Thoughts**

**By Misanagi**

Rated: PG13

Archive: Gundanium Line

Warnings: Shonen ai, angst.

Pairings: 3x4, 1x2, 5xS

Summary: Quatre seems different and the other pilots would do anything to find out what happened to him.

Timeline: After the Endless Waltz.

Feedback: Yes please!

Notes: This is my first GW fanfic. I rewrote it and I'll be posting the chapters as soon as they are done. If you read this before (which I doubt) the plot is still the same, I just changed some style things.

Dedication: To Anne, for her patience. Thanks a lot for beta reading this twice. gives her some chocolate to feed her addiction and some carrots to feed her bunnies

"blah" = Talking

'blah' = Thought (well duh!)

* * *

Chapter II

Quatre watched the full moon from his window at the top floor of Winner Enterprises Inc. It was a beautiful night, the sky was clear, and he could easily see the bright stars shining from above. He was glad that he'd decided to stay on Earth after the wars. There were no views on the colonies that could match the beauty of the Earth.

He sighed, turned his gaze away from the spectacular view, and concentrated on the last folder on his desk.

'Just one more and I can go home.' He laughed bitterly when he thought that, no matter what, he would have another monumental pile of paperwork tomorrow that would need his approval and supervision. It had been a very long day. He normally preferred to work late than to wake up early. Everyone at WEI knew that he wouldn't arrive at the office before ten in the morning and that, unless it was a real emergency, he wouldn't take their calls.

A knock interrupted his thoughts and Quatre raised his head from behind the folder.

"Mr. Winner?" said the older woman, standing at the door. She wore her hair loose, letting the brown curls fall on her face.

"Cecilia, what are you still doing here? It's very late." Cecilia was his personal secretary and left hand for anything work related. Her expression was always soft, at least when she was speaking with Quatre, but that didn't mean that she wasn't very efficient, and as hard as nails when she needed to be.

She smiled at Quatre and pushed her thick glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I wanted to finish some reports but I'm done now so I'm going to take off, if that's okay."

"Of course it's okay. It's late. It not good to stay this late in the office, you don't need to do that." Quatre was feeling guilty. He knew first hand that running Winner Enterprises took a lot of time and effort. Normally, he tried to do most of the work himself but it was impossible to do it all alone and he had to rely on others. However, that didn't mean that he felt less guilty about having his employees working long hours when they could be at home spending time with their families. "I'm going to pay you overtime, Cecilia. Now you should really go rest."

Cecilia gave a small chuckle. "You should apply some of your wisdom to yourself, Mr. Winner. Good night."

* * *

Cecilia closed the door and went to her desk to gather her belongings before going home. She looked at her watch; it was nine o'clock. It was unusual for her to stay this late at the office; she usually left at seven, and was one of the last to leave, but Mr. Winner was always there. She pitied him somehow; he was so young and already had so many responsibilities. It wasn't fair. Cecilia had a son only a couple of years younger than her boss and she just couldn't picture the hyperactive seventeen year old stuck in an office from ten to nine every day. Winner Enterprises had been her work place for a long time and she recognized the positive changes that the business had taken since the young man had been in charge, but she could also see that it had cost him a lot.

Sometimes his friends came to the office to take him out to lunch or just to visit. Cecilia liked all of them, even if they were far from normal.

The weird kid with the long braid always managed to get Mr. Winner out of the office, no matter how busy he was. The Chinese one could be heard from her desk as he explained to Mr. Winner that if he wanted to keep his strength he needed some rest. The young man was the voice of reason and was often heard, but of course Mr. Winner could be as stubborn as a goat when he wanted to.

The Japanese one was a mystery to her. She never knew what he and Mr. Winner talked about when he visited but the Japanese boy always managed to make her boss cancel his appointments and take the day off. Sometimes they simply stayed in the office for the whole day and ordered food. What happened behind those doors was something that Cecilia was still trying to figure out.

Last but not least, was the tall kid. Cecilia knew that he was much more than Mr. Winner's friend. She could see them interact; the soft touches and the way her boss's face lit up whenever he entered the office. She never asked but she knew that they weren't trying to hide their relationship; they were just shy in public, or so she thought.

Cecilia reached her car in the parking lot. Looking up at the tall structure, she could see that there was only light in one window. She smiled softly at Mr. Winner's window before driving off; it had been a long day.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Quatre closed the last folder and put it on the desk. He closed his eyes for a moment as he stretched in his leather chair. 'Finally,' he thought, getting up from his desk. He was really glad that he was a fast reader or that last report would have taken him at least another hour to finish. He put on his jacket and arranged the files neatly on the desk before leaving.

The building was empty except for the night guards. The lights on the corridor turned on as soon as he approached them. During the day, they were always on, since there were people passing all the time, however, at night they lit only for him.

Quatre walked to the elevator and pressed the P button that would take him to the parking lot. 'I'm hungry', he thought, leaning on the wall and watching the numbers descend quickly. He hadn't had anything to eat since lunch. Finally, after the seven minute ride on the elevator, he exited the building and reached his bike.

There was virtually no traffic at that time of the night so Quatre could speed up on the empty streets as much as he liked. He missed his Gundam; while he liked racing in his bike, it was no match for the speed or power of a Gundam. He smiled as he thought of Sandrock. It might have been only a machine but, to Quatre, it was much more than that, and he would miss it forever.

Before he knew it, he was entering the driveway of his home. It was too late when he realized that he hadn't slowed down. He skillfully parked his bike and got out. He sighed before entering the house; he was in for a sermon on safe driving and speed limits.

* * *

"Did you see how fast he was going?" Duo was still looking out the window, his back resting on the wall while he played with the end of his braid.

Trowa was standing farther away from the window than Duo, but he could still see the entrance of the house. "That was reckless," he agreed.

"But impressive," said Wufei. "That was very skillful driving." A small smile appeared in the corner of his mouth but he didn't say anything else.

"Skillful or not, it's still dangerous," continued Duo.

Heero hid a smirk and wondered if he should tell them that Quatre always drove like that and that this time, he probably just forgot to slow down before entering the gates. He found it interesting how his friends conveniently ignored that they did the same thing all the time. They were not particularly known for respecting speed limits.

Quatre entered the living room moments later. He kissed Trowa hello and then tossed his jacket on the sofa as he loosened his tie.

"Long day?" asked Trowa, hugging his lover. Quatre gave him a smile, and sat down on the sofa, leaning his head on Trowa's chest.

"Of course it was a long day. Do you know what time is it?" asked Duo. He waited patiently for Quatre to reply but the blond just shrugged, being too comfortable to look at his watch. "It's ten o'clock, Quatre."

Quatre nodded but he kept his eyes fixed on Duo, as if he knew that his friend's comment wasn't the end of it.

"Heero told me you left really early this morning," Duo continued, "so you have been working all day." He paused another moment and waited for Quatre to nod again. "You need to rest."

The blond opened his mouth to argue but Duo was having none of it. "You can't continue getting away with this; you are going to get sick. I bet you haven't eaten anything have you?" Quatre didn't answer but the silence betrayed him anyway. "Don't you think that your body needs food to survive and to work all these crazy hours?" Heero knew that Duo wanted to say more but he didn't. Instead, he changed his strategy, knowing that Quatre would argue against his reasons but would cooperate if someone else's needs were involved. "Come on, let's eat. We decided to wait for you and I'm really hungry."

As expected, Quatre agreed and walked to the kitchen, with the rest following closely behind. "Quatre, we need to talk after dinner," said Heero.

Quatre looked startled for a moment but at the end he just nodded at Heero and continued his walk to the kitchen.

* * *

Dinner passed smoothly and silently. All of them were used to the silence and it didn't bother them. After so many years of knowing each other, words were no longer needed. When they had finished eating, they walked to the living room and sat down. Quatre and Trowa took the sofa, Wufei the big armchair by the fireplace, and Heero the one in front of the former. Duo simply made Heero move so that they both could fit on the same chair.

"So," said Quatre, after a few minutes of silence. "What did you want to talk about?"

The other ex-pilots looked at each other for a moment before Duo sighed and spoke. "Quatre, we're worried about you."

Quatre looked at Duo; his eyes solemn and filled with understanding. "You mean you are worried about our talk yesterday, right?"

A smirk crossed Duo's face when he heard Quatre's words but it disappeared quickly and his face was serious again. "Yes and no. You've been acting weirdly and yesterday was just an another incident that got us thinking," he replied.

Trowa cleared his throat and gave Quatre a soft look. "Quatre, you don't share much, especially about your childhood." The words were delivered in an even tone and it might have seemed like a simple comment, but Quatre knew that it was really a plead for him to talk.

Quatre looked at Trowa in silence. "I can't talk about my childhood," he said after a while. Noticing the worry in Trowa's eyes, and sensing the same feeling from the other pilots, Quatre gave them a dismissive smile. "Don't worry about me, it's probably all this work. Maybe I do need to take a break," he said, hoping that his words were enough to reassure Trowa and his friends.

"Oh no, you are not getting off that easily, Quatre." The expression in Duo's face was enough to tell Quatre that they were going to press the issue until they got some answers. "We talked with Rashid today and we know that something about your childhood is bothering you, and you need to talk about it; it's the only way we can help you." Duo's voice was firm and left no room for arguments.

Quatre felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned, even though he knew to whom the hand belonged to. "Please, Quatre?" whispered Trowa, his voice barely audible.

Closing his eyes, Quatre took a moment to put his thoughts in order. He wasn't upset about his friends talking to Rashid; he could understand their need for answers but they were not going to get any from the Maguanac leader. Quatre was the only one with the answers and he couldn't give them.

They had shared so much together and knowing each other as well as they did, Quatre was starting to feel guilty for deceiving them for so long. At first, he had thought that his small problems were nothing for them to worry about. He had always been there for them to help them anyway he could and they had finally begun to trust him. They had trusted each other with their lives and then with their secrets.

Since he and Trowa had finally gotten together, Quatre had tried to tell him many times, but it was impossible. Maybe now was the chance, maybe now that his friends were so worried about him, he could open up to them. "It's not that I don't want to," he said after a long time. "It's that I can't."

They all looked at him with very confused expressions. "What do you mean, you can't?" asked Wufei. It wasn't an accusation but a simple question.

"We are not going to tell anyone if that's what you're worried about," said Duo. His hands were crossed above his chest, his expression daring Quatre to make him repeat the obvious.

"It's not that. I know you would never betray my trust." Quatre let out an exasperated sigh. "But it's impossible for me to talk about it."

Wufei raised an eyebrow. "What exactly do you mean, Winner?"

"I can't talk about it." Quatre was getting frustrated. "But maybe Sally can help."

"What can she do?" asked Wufei, trying unsuccessfully to hide the small smile that appeared on his face at the mention of the Chinese woman.

"She is a doctor, isn't she? Maybe she can hypnotize me," pondered Quatre.

Duo uncrossed his arms, letting them fall at his side. "What? Quatre, why do you need to be hypnotized?" he asked.

There was a moment of silence and then everyone looked at Quatre expectantly. He was trying to find a way to explain, but he wasn't being very successful.

"Mental block," stated Heero, after a while.

Quatre smiled as he looked at him. He'd known that Heero would figure it out eventually.

Duo diverted his gaze from Quatre "What do you mean, Heero?"

"Someone has placed a mental block on Quatre's memories to prevent him from talking about them." The tone hid it well, but the concern and anger were visible in Heero's eyes.

Wufei's lips pressed on a tin line; a sign that he was deep in thought. "Care to explain, Yuy?"

"They did it to me sometimes; it's a mechanism to control people's minds." Heero kept his eyes on Wufei but he was watching Quatre out of the corner of his eye. "They didn't make him forget what happened; they just made it impossible for him to communicate it to another person. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't. That's why we need Sally, so that she can go into his memories."

It sounded so simple when it was explained like that. Those were only words but for Quatre it would have been impossible to speak them. His friends looked at him for confirmation, and Quatre gave them the tiniest nod before smiling again.

"Do you mean that someone got into Quatre's head and made him keep quiet about his childhood?" asked Duo, his anger getting a little more visible with every word.

Heero only nodded and Quatre could see the fury hiding behind Duo's eyes. Duo was definitely not happy and nor were the rest of his friends.

* * *

"I'm going to call Sally," said Wufei, after a while.

Trowa nodded and went into the kitchen. With a shake of his head, he told Heero to follow him. Trowa's eyes reflected a lot of anger. Heero could tell that Trowa's control of his emotions was the only thing preventing him from ramming his fist into something. However, Heero knew that it was only a matter of time; Trowa would explode eventually, and when that happened, someone was going to pay dearly, and Heero was going to be there to help.

"Explain," Trowa finally said when they were in the kitchen and could not be heard by the other ex pilots, who were still in the living room.

"J did that to me sometimes," said Heero, leaning against the fridge. "It's a control mechanism. When he sent me on dangerous missions, and there was a high possibility of getting captured, he blocked the information in my mind so it would be impossible for me to reveal it if I was interrogated. That was a long time ago; he stopped doing it because he found out that the process could be reversed by hypnosis, so he started the torture resistance training."

Trowa crossed his arms above his chest. "Can Sally help?"

"Yes, she is perfect for the job." Heero trusted Sally with his life, as did the rest of the pilots. She was a very capable woman and from what he knew about the mental block, she could help Quatre.

"Time needed for treatment?" If Heero didn't already know that Trowa was worried, the fact that Trowa was asking his questions in such a direct and unattached way would have clued him in. Trowa tended to cut to the chase when there was something troubling him.

"However long it takes Sally to uncover all the blocked memories. It depends on how much information there is." In other words, there was no way of knowing. It all depended of what memories exactly were blocked. Heero didn't have high hopes. The fact that Quatre hadn't even been able to tell them of his block was enough to worry Heero even more. He suspected that there had to be a lot of information hidden. That, along with the long period of time the mental block had been in place, made everything more difficult.

Trowa nodded and Heero could tell that he understood the implications. Quatre's treatment would not be easy. "Recovery?"

"About ninety percent," replied Heero. Those were good odds. Mental blocks were a dangerous thing but Heero was counting on Quatre's strength. Quatre was a fighter and he would recover.

"Side effects?" Trowa's neutral tone didn't fool Heero. Trowa was afraid of asking the question but he probably needed to know the answers.

"None that I can tell," answered Heero reassuringly, and he could see Trowa give a small sigh of relief.

Then, Trowa moved away from the kitchen table and walked towards Heero. He stood close to Heero but far away enough so that he wouldn't be invading his personal space. Trowa's eyes focused on Heero's, and when he spoke, the words were merely a whisper. "Does it hurt?"

Heero thought about it for a moment. "It's complicated. I don't really know how this is affecting Quatre. I only had the blocks for short periods of time, but he has probably had them for years."

"Heero, does it hurt?"

"Sometimes," Heero finally admitted. Trowa wasn't looking for reassurance at the moment, but for the truth, and Heero was going to be as truthful as possible. "When you remember whatever that is blocked and try to fight it, it's as if your skull is shattering."

Trowa remained silent but his fingers closed into a fist. Someone had done something really bad to Quatre and then they had prevented him from talking about it. Trowa was probably making the funeral arrangements for whoever had dared to do this to his lover.

"Let's not jump to conclusions. We have to wait for Sally." Heero put a hand on Trowa's shoulder. "He is going to be okay," he said to Trowa, and to himself. He knew what it was like to have someone messing with his head and how much it hurt to fight those blocks, but he also knew that Quatre was strong and could overcome it.

Someone had dared to endanger one of his friends - his family; they had done something to Quatre that he didn't deserve. Heero could understand and forgive everything that they had done to him, but not to Quatre, and there would be no place on Earth or the colonies where the guilty men could hide from the angry Gundam pilots.

* * *

Wufei hung up the phone with a smile on his face. That woman could be quite annoying when she wanted to be, but Wufei had to admit that she was the strongest woman he knew, and the most beautiful. He stopped when he realized the direction his thoughts were taking. This was not the time to be daydreaming about Sally. Quatre had a problem and they needed to help him.

Sally would be there the next day and he would be able to see her again. Wufei smiled. She would take care of Quatre and then everything would be all right. And after Quatre was cured of whatever was done to him, Wufei was going to hunt down the people responsible and make them pay for it.

* * *

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks a lot to everyone who reviewed and I'm really sorry it took so long. _****

**Share my Thoughts**

**By Misanagi**

Rated: PG13

Warnings: Shonen ai, angst.

Pairings: 3x4, 1x2, 5xS

Summary: Quatre seems different and the other pilots would do anything to find out what happened to him.

Timeline: After the Endless Waltz.

Archive: Gundanium Line

Notes: This is my first GW fanfic. I rewrote it and I'll be posting the chapters as soon as they are done. If you read this before (which I doubt) the plot is still the same, I just changed some style things.

Dedication: To Anne, for her patience. Thanks a lot for beta reading this twice. gives her some chocolate to feed her addiction and some carrots to feed her bunnies.

* * *

Chapter III

"Something is bothering you," said Heero, after closing the door of his and Duo's room.

Duo snorted. "That's the understatement of the century." He took his shoes off and threw them in a corner. After removing his shirt, Duo let himself fall onto the bed. His head was resting in the middle of the mattress and he was looking up at the ceiling. "I just hate thinking about what they did to Quatre."

Duo watched Heero's face appear in his line of vision. Heero had his eyes focused on Duo's and his lips were in a thin line. Some people might have thought that Heero always looked that way, but Duo had learned to notice the fine details that made his lover's face change and express his emotions. Heero was worried. "Quatre isn't weak. We all had to deal with different things when we were growing up."

"That's exactly what I mean," said Duo with a sigh. "I know he isn't weak. I know that our childhoods were less than perfect." A humourless chuckle escaped Duo's throat. "This might be silly but, somehow, I liked to think that, at least, /he/ had a good childhood, you know? That maybe not all of us were screw ups."

Heero lay on the bed beside Duo and played with a few strands of Duo's hair. "We all saw something that wasn't there. However, I can certainly tell you that Quatre is not a screw up; none of us are." Duo turned his head to look at his lover, and noticed the contemplative look in Heero's eyes. "Quatre's capacity to believe the best of people has always amazed me," continued Heero. "At first I thought that he didn't know better. Now, I know that he is very aware but refuses to lose faith in humanity. Duo, if something really happened to Quatre when he was growing up, then he is even more remarkable than I thought. He somehow managed to keep that kindness that makes him who he is."

A smile found its way to Duo's face. He remembered his first thoughts of Quatre when he met the Sandrock pilot for the first time. Duo had to admit that he had also thought that Quatre was naïve. The blond's persistence to work with the other pilots had struck Duo as nothing but idealistic. However, after spending some time with Quatre, Duo had come to the conclusion that if the Gundam pilots ever managed to work together, it would be thanks to Quatre. Duo hadn't been mistaken and he had come to admire and respect the blond in many ways.

The recent discoveries had him worried. A part of him was scared of finding out what secrets were hidden in Quatre's mind. The other wanted nothing but to discover what had happened, and make the responsible pay. Duo didn't appreciate people messing with his friends.

Heero put an arm around him and Duo closed his eyes, hoping for a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Sally Po lowered the window of her car and pushed the small button on the wall. She didn't have to wait long before Wufei's face appeared on the small screen. He had obviously just stepped out of the bathroom. His hair was wet, and loose from the usual ponytail; a few locks were falling in front of his eyes. "You are early," he said simply. 

"I don't remember telling you a specific time when we talked yesterday. I said I would be here in the morning, and since the sun has risen, it is morning." She grinned at him. "Are you doing to open this gate or do I have to get the gear out of the truck and sneak in?"

He didn't answer. Instead, the screen went black and the metallic gate started to slide open. Sally smiled and parked her car in the driveway, making sure that she wasn't blocking the door to the garage. After turning the engine off, she exited the vehicle and took a medical bag from the trunk.

Wufei was waiting for her at the door. He was leaning on the wall. His hair was now tied in the customary ponytail, but it was still dripping. The blue t-shirt he was wearing matched the simple white pants. "Are shoes out of season?" Sally asked when she noticed that Wufei was barefoot.

"I don't wear shoes while I'm in the house," he replied. "I dislike them."

Sally raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. Everyone had their little quirks, and the fun thing about knowing someone, was finding them.

She followed Wufei into the kitchen and sat in one of the chairs, laying the medical bag at her feet.

"I was just making coffee," he said, retrieving two cups from a shelf. "I don't think that we have cinnamon here so you are going to have to drink it with sugar."

The statement made Sally blink a couple of times, before she was able to smile politely and nod at Wufei. She hadn't realized that Wufei knew the way she took her coffee. Granted, they had been working together for a few years, but she never thought that Wufei would notice such trivial things. She smiled again, but this time it was a sincere smile.

A steamy cup of coffee was placed on the table before her. Sally thanked Wufei, reached for the sugar and started sipping the beverage. She was grateful that the cup covered half her face, and Wufei wasn't able to see her silly smile.

"How soon do you think you'll be able to start?" asked Wufei, taking a seat in front of her and placing his own cup of coffee on the table.

"I can start as soon as Quatre is ready," she said. "Actually, the sooner we start the better. The hypnosis takes a lot from the patient, especially if we are dealing with something as severe as what you described yesterday on the phone. He is going to need some time to recover in between sessions."

Wufei's cup didn't manage to touch his lips. "There is going to be more than one session?" he asked.

"I believe so," replied Sally, placing her own cup on the table. "Mental blocks are complicated things and they need to be treated carefully.

He nodded and took a sip from his coffee. "We trust you," he said after a while.

They drank in silence after that. She knew what those simple words meant, and she was honoured to be regarded as a trustworthy person.

"Winner doesn't get up until nine," said Wufei after they had finished drinking their coffee. "And as I said before, it's early. We have a couple of hours to kill. Do you want some breakfast? It seems to be my turn to cook today."

Sally smirked. "I would like that. Thanks, Wufei."

He smiled at her as he made some more coffee. "My pleasure, Sally."

* * *

Trowa lazily munched on a piece of toast. The sweet flavour of the strawberry jam and a few sips of plain coffee had woken him up. He was alert but he wasn't very hungry; he was eating more because it was necessary rather than out of hunger. 

When Trowa had first walked into the kitchen that morning, with his hair still dripping from the shower and using his t-shirt to dry the wet drops on his face, he hadn't realized that he would find Sally there. She was helping Wufei with breakfast, or at least she had been doing that until she saw Trowa. He had been stared at before; he knew what it was like to have someone looking at him and thinking not so pure thoughts; Trowa had always managed to ignore it. However, the way Sally was looking at him was enough to make him uncomfortable. She grinned and lowered her eyes to his abdomen. That was when Trowa noticed that he still had his t-shirt half way up. He pushed his shirt down and smiled at Sally shyly. After she was done laughing and batting her eyelashes at him in a teasing manner, she went back to help Wufei with breakfast.

They worked well together, even if they were only intending to make toast and eggs. The way they moved showed that they were familiar and comfortable in each other's presence. Trowa smiled a little, noticing the way Wufei and Sally looked at each other while they ate, or how when their hands brushed, they didn't pulled away immediately but let them linger there for a moment. Somehow, Trowa felt like he was intruding.

Trowa checked his watch; he still had some time before Quatre would wake up. When they had gone to bed the night before, Quatre had been exhausted and had fallen asleep the moment his head had touched the pillow. Trowa realized that Quatre had used most of his energy trying to fight the mental block. The little things Quatre was able to say had been enough to tire his already fatigued mind, and the fact that Quatre had been working non-stop for the last few days hadn't helped at all.

Heero walked into the kitchen, bringing Trowa back to the present. After greeting Sally with a simple nod, Heero took a seat beside Trowa.

"I guess you are all taking a brief leave from work?" asked Sally.

"Lady Une gave us permission," replied Heero, buttering a piece of toast. "Things have been slow for a while anyway. If we are needed, she will call us."

They ate in silence for a while, until Trowa decided to interrupt. "Sally, have you dealt with something like this before?" He had been waiting for the right time to ask the question. No matter how much he trusted Sally, both as a physician and a friend, Trowa couldn't help but worry about Quatre.

"I've had some experience," Sally assured him. "I've seen cases of mental blocks before, when I was working with the Alliance. However, I have to admit that some of the things that Heero mentioned are new to me."

"It wouldn't be the first time J was able to develop something that hadn't been seen before," commented Heero.

"It was probably H who messed with Quatre's head." Duo entered the room and found a seat beside Heero. "Those doctors were all mad; you never knew what to expect when dealing with them."

Sally sighed. "Is it too much to expect a proper greeting in this house?" Her tone faked annoyance and her eyes were sparkling with amusement.

Duo smacked his forehead and then smiled at Sally apologetically. "Forgive me?" he asked after he stood up, and then gave Sally a small peck on the cheek. She smiled at him and nodded.

"Fortunately, or unfortunately, as far as we know, the doctors are all dead." Wufei commented, returning the conversation to the previous topic. "Although, I wouldn't be surprised if we were mistaken about their deaths."

Duo grabbed some juice from the fridge and took a seat beside Heero again.

"Heero, you did say that it was possible to get rid of the blocks?" asked Sally, refocusing everyone's attention.

Heero frowned, a small frown that Trowa doubted would be detected by Sally, but that the other ex-pilots could easily recognize. "Yes, but for that we need to know exactly what method was used on Quatre. J was very proud of the fact that his blocks couldn't be broken by anyone but him, because he was the only one who knew exactly what to do. If Quatre has the same kind of block, only the person who put it would be able to remove it."

"Great!" said Duo, his tone full of sarcasm. "If H was the one who did this to Quatre, there is no way he can be cured."

"Not necessarily." Sally stated, pensively. "If we can somehow find exactly what was done to Quatre, there might be a way to reverse the process."

"But how likely is that, Sally? He can't tell us what happened." Trowa put down the toast he was holding. He didn't feel like eating anymore.

"That is exactly why I'm here." Sally's expression was tender but also determined. "I'm going try to use hypnosis so that Quatre's subconscious can tell us something about what happened to him. I doubt it'll be clear enough; the block is obviously strong, but maybe we'll be able to get some hints."

Trowa checked his watch again. It was almost nine o'clock. Quatre would be waking up soon and he wanted to be there when it happened. He excused himself and left the kitchen.

* * *

Trowa opened the door slowly and closed it as soon as he stepped in. The room was dark, the curtains were closed, and the only light was the one coming from the small clock on top of the dresser. 

Quatre was lying in the middle of the bed. His eyes were shut, a small smile graced his face, and his hands were hugging his pillow. Trowa allowed himself a few moments to contemplate the sleeping figure. Quatre's bangs were falling on his eyes. His mouth was slightly opened and his breathing was even. The sheet covering Quatre's body only reached his stomach, leaving his back visible to Trowa. The back muscles flexed a little with each breath Quatre took, showing that he was having a peaceful sleep.

The room was suddenly filled with the soft tunes of a violin emitted by the alarm clock. It was nine, time to for Quatre to get up. Trowa had witnessed the show many times before, but seeing Quatre wake up was always a spectacle worth watching more than once.

The blond took a couple of moments to notice that there was something disturbing his peaceful sleep and that it wasn't going to go away. He turned a little in bed and finally curled up, hugging the pillow tighter as if it was his only anchor to the dream world.

Quatre's smile was completely gone and a frown took its place. He moaned a little and whispered some incoherent words before turning again and trying, in vain, to get away from the annoying sound. By then, the soft violin tunes weren't the only ones filling the room. Trowa's laughter was a great companion.

Something in Quatre must have recognized that sound. He shifted again and faced his lover. His eyes were still closed and the frown firmly in place. Quatre blinked a couple of times before focusing on Trowa's face. He made a few more incoherent noises, hugged his pillow tighter, and closed his eyes again.

"You know, you're making me jealous," said Trowa, smiling as he continued looking at his sleepy lover. Quatre didn't move again and completely ignored him.

"I knew the time would come," Trowa continued, adding a dramatic tone to his voice "I just wish it wasn't so soon, but I understand that you have chosen her over me. I'll leave now so you and your beloved pillow can live happily ever after."

That did it. Quatre sat on the bed, laughing loudly and still holding the pillow.

Trowa pouted. "You see? She gets all the attention while I'm left to suffer alone."

Trowa was able to blink once before he was pinned to the bed by Quatre, who was hugging him like there was no tomorrow. Quatre's head was lying on top of Trowa's stomach and the smile was back in place.

"Mmm, this is so much more comfortable," murmured Quatre, closing his eyes and hugging his new pillow.

Trowa couldn't help but smile. He ran his fingers through Quatre's hair a couple of times, quietly enjoying the moment.

Quatre grunted before finally letting go. "I have to go," he announced in a resigned tone.

"No, you don't. Sally is here."

Quatre stopped before he was able to get out of bed. "Already? I thought it would take her a bit longer to get here."

"She wasn't that far away," explained Trowa.

"So this means..."

"That you're not going to work for a couple of days so she can start the hypnosis treatment, yes."

After thinking for a moment, Quatre nodded, and then headed to the bathroom. "I'll be down in a moment; go and finish eating." He walked to the bathroom and closed the door before Trowa had time to say anything.

* * *

"I presume by the smile on your face that "Cranky Morning Cat" didn't come out and play?" 

Trowa ignored Duo. He sat to finish his breakfast and waited for Quatre to arrive.

It wasn't long before they saw the blond ex pilot appear in the kitchen doorway, dressed formally, but not in the dark suits he wore to work. He smiled and greeted Sally, gave Trowa a hello kiss and then went to get some breakfast.

Wufei glared at the coke can Quatre was holding in his hand. "Winner, I can't see how you can call that breakfast."

Quatre smiled and opened the can. "What can I say? I'm addicted to this stuff." He took a big mouthful and then sat down and started eating some toast.

"I hate to say this but I have to agree with Wufei." Sally smirked at the Chinese man before continuing. "As a doctor, I can tell you that drinking too much of a beverage filled with sugar and caffeine is not healthy."

"I know that," answered Quatre, "but it is one of the few pleasures in life." He winked at Trowa. "Not the best but it's definitely high on the list."

Sally raised her hands in an 'I tried' gesture and then dropped the issue. She knew from experience just how stubborn the Gundam pilots could be.

Quatre quickly finished breakfast and then went to leave

"Where do you think you are going, handsome? You have an appointment with me." Sally crossed her arms and waited for Quatre to reply.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," answered Quatre, smiling at Sally softly, "but I have to make a call before we can get started. Why don't I meet you in the living room in a moment? Please go ahead and get everything ready; I'll be there shortly."

* * *

Quatre's study was a room on the first floor that he used to do all the work that he didn't have time to do at WEI. It was a messy place, usually filled by papers and folders, and no one but Quatre ever used the room. It was the one room in the house that Quatre could call his own, even if it was just an extension of WEI. However, Quatre preferred to keep his work and personal life separate so he tried to do all his work in the office but sometimes, he had no choice but to bring some of it home. Since he didn't want the endless paperwork to start taking over the life he and the other ex-pilots had built in the house, Quatre had claimed the study for it. It was the only place in the house where he was allowed to work. All work related things were forgotten as soon as he exited the study. 

Since he needed to sort some things before he could take a few days off work, Quatre went to the study to make some calls. He dialled a number and soon a woman with brown eyes and red hair appeared on the vid.

"Winner Enterprises offices. How can I help you?"

"Good morning, Alexa."

The woman's eyes widened a little. "Good Morning, Mr. Winner, I'm sorry I didn't recognize you sooner."

"Don't worry about it, Alexa, and please call me Quatre."

She smiled. "I can't do that, Mr. Winner, it would be weird."

Quatre sighed. This wasn't the first time he'd had that argument with her and she, like all of his employees, simply refused to call him by his first name. "So how are you today?" he said, dropping the name issue. "I hope that problem with your landlord has been fixed?"

"I'm fine, Mr. Winner, and yes the problem is fixed. Thanks a lot for that. If it wasn't for you I would probably be without a home by now."

"I'm glad to hear that everything is all right. I don't think the paperwork will take very long, but if he does anything while he still owns the property, please let me know."

"Yes, Mr. Winner," she said, smiling brightly, "and thank you."

"Now, Alexa, would you please put me through to Cecilia?"

"Yes, Mr. Winner. Have a nice day."

* * *

Alexa put Mr. Winner on hold and dialled Cecilia's extension. 

Winner Enterprises was the best job she had ever had and she especially liked her boss. Mr. Winner wasn't like any boss she'd had before. He didn't need to be above his employees to get their respect; he earned it.

Mr. Winner was nice to everyone and the door of his office was always open. Alexa had liked him from the first day; she could tell just by looking at him that he was a kind person. She didn't care about his age. There were a lot of people who had questioned Mr. Winner's capacity to handle a company as big as WEI. At the end of the day Mr. Winner had won everyone's heart and respect, and his age was no longer a problem.

Cecilia and Alexa were good friends so when the problem with Alexa's landlord had started, Cecilia had suggested talking to Mr. Winner. Alexa was reluctant at first, but when her landlord threatened to put everyone out on the street if they couldn't pay the new and much higher rent, she decided to take Cecilia's advice. When she got home from work that day her neighbor told her that the landlord had decided to forget about the new rent and was even selling the building. Later she learned that it had taken Mr. Winner just one phone call to get the landlord to sell him the building, way below market value, and to stop the harassment of his tenants. They just needed some more paperwork before the building was officially Mr. Winner's property. Cecilia had told Alexa that as soon as the deal was done, Mr. Winner would give the building to the tenants.

"Mr. Winner's office. How can I help you?"

"Hi Cecilia, I have your golden boy on hold for you."

"Mr. Winner? Please put him through," replied the secretary.

"Of course. See you at lunch." Alexa winked at her friend before she connected the call.

* * *

"Good Morning, Mr. Winner" 

"Hello, Cecilia, how are you?" said Quatre as soon as his secretary appeared on the vid. "How is Jason?" he asked, before giving her time to reply to his previous question. Cecilia had a weak spot for her son, like all mothers do, and Quatre knew what a simple question about Jason's well being, meant to his secretary. Quatre had never met Jason but Cecilia had showed him countless pictures. He and Jason were the same age but no matter how hard he tried, Quatre couldn't relate to what he had heard of the other teen. There was an abysm between the two and it wasn't made by age, but by experience.

"He is fine, Mr. Winner," replied Cecilia, smiling kindly at Quatre, "and so am I."

"I'm glad to hear that. I'm sorry, Cecilia, but I won't be able to come to the office for the rest of the week, so I need to cancel all my appointments. Move them to next week and please tell Mrs. Castel to handle the ones that can't be rescheduled. Give her my cell phone number so she can call me if she has any problems. I also need you to send me the files that I need to check, but please only the urgent ones; I won't have time to look at my usual share. I'll deal with those later."

Cecilia took all the necessary notes and then looked at the vid again. "Is that all, Mr. Winner?"

"I think so, but please call me at home if you need anything."

"Of course, and what should I tell your sisters if they call?"

"My sisters..." Quatre sighed. "I don't know. Just tell everyone that I have some business to take care of and that I'll call them at the end of the week."

"Understood." Cecilia opened her mouth and closed it again. "Mr. Winner, are you all right?"

"Yes," Quatre assured and gave his secretary a confident smile. "I just thought I'd take your advice and get some rest."

She nodded and smiled back. "Don't worry about a thing, Mr. Winner. We'll be fine. I'll see you next week."

"Thank you, Cecilia. Bye." Quatre cut the connection and headed for the living room where everyone was waiting for him.

* * *

"So, how do we do this?" Quatre asked Sally, as soon as he arrived in the living room. 

"Quatre, I need you to lie on the couch. The rest of you can sit wherever you want, but please stay quiet."

Duo sat down on the small couch next to Heero. Trowa sat on a chair near Quatre, and Wufei on the one across from him. Sally had taken a chair from the kitchen and put it in front of Quatre so she could be close to him and monitor his progress. Meanwhile, Quatre lay on the couch, ready to follow Sally's instructions.

"Hypnosis is a very complex technique," explained Sally. "There are very different kinds of patients and they all respond in different ways. Some people are easy to hypnotize because their minds are not trained to resist it." She focused her attention on Quatre. "I know you have a strong mind. No-one with a weak mind can control the ZERO system, so this tells me that there is no way I can use hypnosis on you unless you are willing."

Quatre nodded. It was his way to give Sally permission for what she was about to do.

Sally continued. "Quatre, need you to open your mind and follow my every instruction, but I also want you to convince yourself that I'm not violating your psyche. You need to give me access, otherwise this will be impossible. Your brain is a very powerful tool; just as it can prevent me from hypnotizing you, it can help me do it faster. If you help me and convince yourself that you want this, you can make the hypnosis go faster and work better."

She received another nod from Quatre.

"Close your eyes and listen to my voice. I want you to picture yourself on top of a long staircase. Look at the thousands of steps leading down. Climb down the staircase very slowly. With every step you take, you are going back in time. Your mind is not now and here, your mind is going back. Back before the war, before you became a Gundam pilot, before you met Trowa or any of us. I'm going to count very slowly from ten to one and when I'm finished you will have reached a spot in the stairway that shows something you can't speak of. You will be back in the past."

"Ten…"

"Nine…"

"Eight…"

"Seven…"

"Six…"

"Five…"

"Four…"

"Three…"

"Two…"

"One…"

* * *

Wufei blinked a couple of times. Where was Sally? Where was the living room? And where the hell was he? 

He looked around and noticed that he was standing in a large room. The walls were tall and covered with various paintings. Two large windows let the light of the afternoon drift into the room. In the middle of the area was a large carpet and above it, some expensive looking furniture.

Where was he? Wufei looked around the room again, trying to find some clue that told him what he was doing here.

Then Wufei saw him. In one of the dark corners of the room was a small boy sitting against the wall. His legs were pressed against his chest and his arms were around them. The boy's head was resting on top of his knees. Wufei noticed that the boy's breathing was even and he concluded that he was asleep. He wondered why a child was sleeping in the shadows of a room instead of in a bed, but didn't have much time to question it because the large doors of the room opened with a thud and a young woman walked in. The sound woke the child and his head snapped up.

Wufei gasped.

'Quatre.'

There was no mistaking him. His blond hair fell on top of his face, covering his big blue-green eyes. The features were exactly the same, except that the child in front of him was obviously younger. Wufei briefly considered the possibility of the boy being a sibling of Quatre's but he quickly remembered that Quatre was the youngest and the only male, so that was impossible. Besides, he was certain somehow that the child in front of him was a younger version of Quatre Winner.

Quatre looked straight at him and Wufei froze, waiting to see what the little Quatre would do. But Quatre didn't see him. He was looking right through Wufei, and at the woman at the door. The child's eyes grew wide and for a moment, he looked scared. However, the look soon disappeared and was replaced by the hopeless gaze of someone who knows that there is no way out and is ready to face whatever is thrown at him.

Wufei kept his eyes focussed on Quatre. He knew that look. It was the one the older Quatre used whenever he battled, and Wufei had never associated it with fear, but with braveness.

Quatre slowly rose from the floor and waited for the woman to reach him. She walked to him, ignoring Wufei too, and staring at the boy with disgust on her face.

"There you are!" she screamed at him. "Do you think you can hide from us? You are such a terrible heir. Wait until I tell Father that you've been missing your lessons."

Quatre looked at her with a bored expression. It was obvious that this wasn't the first time something like this had happened and that the little boy was tired of arguing.

"Don't look at me like that!" she screamed again. "You have no right. I'm your older sister; you need to learn how to respect your elders."

"What would you like me to do, Sheara?" asked the small boy, with an even voice and a determined tone. "Would you like me to hang my head while you insult me and threaten to tell more lies about me to Father? You know I won't deny it anymore; I'm tired of it. But I won't lower myself to you, Sheara."

Wufei gasped after hearing Quatre's words. The child didn't appear to be older than about ten, and yet he already talked like an adult. There was no bitterness on his voice, just the acceptance of the world he was forced to live in. Wufei didn't have more time to think about this since the woman slapped her brother sharply. Quatre remained silent and kept his eyes on her.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that! You are a disgrace; you are not worthy to be the heir of the Winner family."

"I know that, and I never asked for it." Quatre's tone hadn't changed. "Father can always make another boy to replace me."

"I don't know why he hasn't," spat the woman. "He knows that you are worthless."

"I wonder who gave him that impression, Sheara?"

She didn't miss the sarcastic tone of Quatre's voice, and soon another slap was delivered to the boy's face.

'That has to be the most despicable woman I have ever seen,' thought Wufei as he moved to stop Sheara from hurting Quatre further. He wasn't that surprised when he found out that she didn't notice him or that he couldn't touch her. However, he was angry that he couldn't stop her and that whenever he tried to touch her, his hand passed right through her.

Sheara took Quatre roughly by the arm and led him out of the room. Wufei followed them through the richly decorated hallways, never taking his eyes from the woman. He might not be able to do anything to stop her, but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to try.

By the time they reached their destination, Wufei had no doubt that he was in Quatre's home on the L4 colony cluster. Sheara entered a small room without announcing herself, pulling Quatre behind her.

It was a classroom. The room wasn't big and it was dark. There was only one small window at the top of one wall and a tree outside prevented much light getting in. The walls in the room were bare and in the center of it rested just one small desk with a chair. A bookshelf was the only thing on the right wall. There was a board at the far wall and in front of it was a big wooden desk with a severe looking man sitting behind it.

"Here he is, Karim; I found him hiding in the sitting room." Sheara's tone had changed completely when she addressed the man. All the disdain that was noticeable when she talked to Quatre was gone. "I'll see you at dinner," she said to the man and left the room, closing the door behind her.

"You are late," Karim said after a moment, in a cold voice.

"I wasn't aware that there would be a lesson today," replied Quatre, in the same even tone he'd used with Sheara.

"Your father thought that giving you a full day off a week was too much. On Sundays, you'll have lessons with me for the whole afternoon. Be grateful that you have the mornings free."

Quatre didn't reply or show in any way what he thought of the new arrangement.

"Sit," Karim ordered. Quatre did as he was told.

"You are doing very poorly with your algebra work. I didn't expect it would take you so long to comprehend the simple concept of Structure of Noncommutative Rings." (1)

Quatre kept silent and his teacher started his lesson. Wufei wasn't paying attention; he was trying to work out why a ten-year-old was learning such a complicated concept. Wufei, too, was a Gundam pilot and knew that the skills they needed weren't possessed by everybody. Piloting a Gundam required both physical and mental strength. Their training hadn't just consisted of resistance and reflexes; they had also needed advanced knowledge, such as physics, math, mechanics, and chemistry. All the Gundam pilots had that knowledge, it was a requirement.

Wufei knew that Quatre possessed great intellectual strength. He wasn't the strategist for nothing, and Wufei had put his life in Quatre's hands countless times. Even so, Wufei was amazed to discover what Quatre was learning and he couldn't help but being angered by the way this Karim was treating the child.

Karim talked down to Quatre and told him how useless he was at every chance he got. The man explained the concepts only once, even though they were very complicated and probably had taken him years to comprehend. Quatre just sat quietly listening to his teacher and taking some notes in a notebook he had taken from his desk. The lesson was almost an hour long, and then Karim got up and gathered his things.

"Open your book at chapter fifteen. I expect all of the exercises to be done before you can leave this room." Karim exited the room and locked it from the outside, leaving Quatre inside.

The boy got up from his seat and took a book from the shelf. He sat at the desk and opened it. Wufei heard a sigh, followed by a young voice that said, "I won't finish in time for dinner."

Wufei took a look at the book and saw that, in fact, it was impossible to finish all those exercises in less than a few hours, and the artificial sun was already setting.

For the next hour Wufei saw the young Quatre work silently on his exercises. He was working quickly but he wasn't even halfway when the door opened and Sheara walked in.

"It's dinner time. Have you finished with your work?"

Quatre looked up from his books. "No," he said simply, before returning his eyes to his papers.

"See? Worthless! Can't even finish a simple task on time. I guess you won't be joining us for dinner then. If you are done by breakfast tomorrow you may have something to eat."

Quatre ignored her and she left, locking the room behind her.

As soon as he heard that the door had been locked, Quatre dropped the pencil and threw his head back. He closed his eyes and sighed.

Wufei wished that he could teach that woman a lesson. How dare she treat her family that way? He knew that Quatre didn't get along with his sisters very well. Quatre had said that he didn't even know most of them but Wufei had never expected that the blond's relationship with them could be like this. It was true that he had only seen Sheara treating Quatre badly, but he had to wonder what the rest of the family was doing while this was happening.

Quatre worked for a couple of more hours, until he finally finished. The child closed his notebook and returned the book to its place. And then, he did something that Wufei didn't expect.

Climbing on top of the teacher's desk. Quatre used his arms to lift himself to the small window above him. His experience obvious, Quatre jumped from the window and into the garden. Wufei wasn't surprised when he found out that he could walk through the wall and he followed Quatre outside.

The boy moved, hidden by the shadows, until he reached another window. This was a big one, like the one Wufei had seen before in the other room. Quatre opened it and, after getting the curtains out of the way, walked inside.

It was a music room. The place was big and bright. There was a piano in one corner and an entire wall was filled with all kinds of instruments. Quatre closed the window after entering and straightened the curtains. Wufei watched him move to a control panel on the other wall and activate the sound proof system. It isolated the sounds in one room and made it impossible to hear them from outside. The system was very popular and it was used everywhere, from movie theaters to conference rooms.

After the boy was sure that he was isolated in the room and that he wouldn't be heard, he took a violin from the wall and started playing. Wufei had heard Quatre play a few times before, and each time the blond had enchanted him with his music. The young Quatre played beautifully, and Wufei discovered by listening to the boy play, that Quatre could still envelope him in his music. However, the most wonderful thing was the expression on Quatre's face. His eyes were closed but his smile and his music spoke loud enough. This was Quatre's happiness.

The moment ended too soon and Quatre returned the room to the way it was before he had snuck in. He opened the window and slowly returned to the classroom. After easily climbing inside, Quatre sat at the desk. Five minutes later, the door was opened and Karim walked in followed by Sheara.

"Are you done?" asked Sheara, looking down at Quatre. "Karim wants to go home and he won't waste his time with a lazy boy like you."

Quatre got up and handed the notebook to his teacher. Karim looked at it and noticed that the boy had finished. He nodded to Sheara and then she took Quatre by the arm again.

"You may go to your room and sleep. Breakfast is tomorrow at seven. I hope you won't be late. It would be a shame if you missed that too."

"No doubt it would be," Quatre said sarcastically, leaving the room and ignoring Sheara's undignified words.

Wufei followed Quatre but after a few steps, he felt a wave of dizziness overtake him. He stopped walking and closed his eyes. When he opened them again he was no longer following the boy in the hallway, but looking at Sally's worried eyes.

* * *

"Wufei, can you hear me?" Sally asked, pointing a small flashlight to his eyes. 

Wufei closed them and put his hand over his face. "Are you trying to blind me?" he asked, waiting for the annoying light to fade.

Sally turned off her flashlight and then looked at Wufei. "Oh gods, are you okay?"

"Of course I am!" Wufei blinked a couple of times. "What are you talking about?"

"You just—"

Her reply was cut short by Duo's exclamation. "Man, that was weird." He was rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. "I think I'm finally going crazy."

Sally turned around and her eyes filled with relief at the sight of the other Gundam pilots awake.

"Did it work?" asked Quatre, sitting up slowly and putting a hand on his forehead.

"Did it work?" repeated Sally, a little too loudly. "Did it work? You guys almost gave me a heart attack! Now, is someone going to explain what just happened here?"

"What do you mean?" asked Quatre, looking at everybody in the room. He had put his hand on his lap and he was frowning, like if he was concentrating on something.

Sally was slowly calming herself. The early adrenaline rush that seemed to have taken her over was dissipating. "After you fell asleep," she explained to Quatre, "the others did too. I couldn't wake any of you, no matter how hard I tried." She sighed. "On top of that, you didn't say a word, Quatre. You were supposed to talk about your past, but you didn't say a thing."

"I didn't? But I was there again, and it felt like the first—" Quatre stopped talking and closed his eyes tightly as he put a hand on his forehead again. He had probably said too much. Trowa was beside Quatre in a second. He put an arm around the blond and Quatre leaned on Trowa's chest.

Sally kneeled in front of Quatre and took a hold of his wrist, checking his pulse.

"So you did remember?" asked Heero. He looked as if nothing had happened but there was something in Heero's eyes that stated that he was angry about something.

Quatre simply nodded and then everyone was quiet for a moment.

Wufei stood up and stretched his legs. "Was it a classroom scene with your sister and teacher?"

Quatre's head snapped up but he didn't answer Wufei's question.

"You saw that too?" asked Duo, looking at Wufei with confused eyes.

Wufei didn't have time to answer before Heero and Trowa muttered something unintelligible. He didn't have to answer the question now, it was clear that everyone had been in Quatre's memories. The true mystery was how that was possible.

"Okay, this is really starting to freak me out," said Duo, shaking his head slowly.

Everyone was silent for a moment and then Heero spoke. "The only explanation I can think of is that the hypnosis worked. Quatre relived one of those blocked memories and somehow we did it with him."

"How?" asked Wufei, voicing his earlier thoughts.

"Maybe it's my space heart," whispered Quatre. He sat up straight but kept a hand on Trowa's lap.

Sally finished her quick examination of Quatre and took a seat in the chair Trowa had vacated. "What are you talking about?" she asked, looking confused.

"His empathy," answered Trowa. He put one of his hands on top of Quatre's and wrapped his fingers around it. "Quatre is a newtype and has empathic abilities."

"He felt me self-destruct," Heero added. The small frown was the only indication of how painful that memory truly was.

"Maybe the combination of Cat's empathy and Sally's hypnosis made us witness what he remembered," Duo proposed. At that moment it was the only reasonable explanation.

There was a long moment of silence. Wufei kept replaying what he saw in his head and he was sure that the others were doing the same thing too; especially since Duo cursed once in a while and Trowa muttered things and put an arm around Quatre, as if he was trying to protect him.

"So what I saw wasn't a dream but Winner's actual memories?" asked Wufei breaking the silence. He looked at Quatre. "Did that really happen?"

Everyone looked at Quatre and after a couple of moments he managed to nod at them. He closed his eyes and began to massage his forehead.

Trowa bit his lip and ran his fingers through Quatre's hair in a soothing manner. However, his other hand was in a fist and his knuckles were turning white. "Sheara Winner is going to pay."

* * *

TBC 

(1) I know nothing about this. I just know that it is really complicated, or so my engineer student friend has told me. I'm just a literature student and what I learned about Algebra in school I've already forgotten. But if you are interested in the topic of the Structure of Noncommutative Rings (I was just looking for a complicated name) you can go read about it in the site that I took it from. I had the link but this site is evil and won't allow me to paste it here. So, if you want it, please visit my Live Journal, find the entry of the chapter and you should find the link in the author's notes there. (Yeah, I know, a lot to do for a lousy link).


	4. Chapter 4

**Share my Thoughts**

**By Misanagi**

Rated: PG13

Pairings: 3x4, 1x2, 5xS

Summary: Quatre seems different and the other pilots would do anything to find out what happened to him.

Warnings: angst.

Timeline: After the Endless Waltz.

Archive: Gundanium Line.

I'm rewriting this fic and I'll be posting the chapters as soon as they are done. If you read this before (which I doubt) the plot is still the same, I just changed some style things.

Dedication: To Anne, for her patience. Thanks a lot for beta reading this twice. gives her some chocolate to feed her addiction and some carrots to feed her bunnies.

* * *

Chapter IV

After the hypnosis session, Trowa and Quatre headed up to their room to rest. Quatre was very tired and had fallen asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.

That kid Trowa had seen in his vision had grown up to be the person in front of him. How often had things like that happened to Quatre? How many more hidden memories were inside his head? Trowa didn't like the idea of ignoring so much about Quatre's past. It was frustrating, to say the least. Quatre had never been particularly forthcoming with information about himself, and Trowa had thought it was just part of his personality. Quatre believed that he had to be perfect so that others could count on him when something was wrong, so Quatre hid his problems and carried the burden alone.

But he was far from perfect.

Trowa couldn't even be mad at Quatre for not sharing his problems. It wasn't Quatre's fault. But Trowa was mad, and he didn't know what to do with all that anger.

A soft knock on the door interrupted his meditations. Trowa turned around to see Heero looking at him through the half open door. Trowa gave Quatre one last glance, before following Heero downstairs.

Duo, Sally and Wufei were talking quietly when Heero and Trowa entered the living room.

"How is he?" asked Duo, as soon as he saw Trowa.

"He needs to take a nap; he is just tired but he'll be ok," replied Trowa, sitting on the couch.

Duo shook his head. "I couldn't do anything but stand there and watch Quatre get hurt. I tried to do something but she went right through me. Literally."

"It was Quatre's memory," said Wufei. "He didn't know us of us then, so naturally, as we didn't exist in that reality, we could only observe, not interact."

"I know that." Duo gave Wufei a glare. "But it's still frustrating as hell."

"Trowa, has Quatre ever said anything about Sheara?" Heero asked.

"He has many sisters but he doesn't talk about them much. He doesn't really know most of them. He gets calls from them sometimes but those are mostly work related. Normally he doesn't use their names when he talks about them; he just calls them sisters."

"I think we need to find out more about Sheara. I don't know why anyone would want to block this episode from Quatre's mind, but I have the feeling that Sheara Winner is involved." Heero stood up. "I'm going to see what I can find," he said, and headed upstairs to his room.

"Well, I guess I'm stuck with fixing lunch. I'll tell you when it's ready." Duo stood up and disappeared behind the kitchen door.

Trowa simply went back upstairs to check on Quatre.

* * *

Wufei and Sally watched them go and sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment. Sally was playing with one of her pig tails. Meanwhile Wufei was trying very hard to ignore the woman in front of him, but it was proving to be a very difficult task.

"We really appreciate what you are doing for Quatre," he said.

She raised her head, looking a little surprised at his words. "I want to help but I'm still confused about a lot of things. The empathy for example."

"I have to admit that when Quatre first told us about it I didn't believe him." Wufei smiled. Things had changed since then.

"Would you mind telling me about it?" asked Sally.

Sally had been a good friend, and Wufei trusted her. She was trying to help Quatre so she needed to know as much as possible, especially about his empathy. Wufei nodded.

"It was about two months after the Mariemeia incident. We'd been living together for about a week and we were still in the process of redecorating this house; there were boxes everywhere." Most of the things were new. Necessities bought to fill a previously empty house. None of them had a lot of material possessions. Quatre owned many things but there were very few he considered his.

"Duo, Heero and I were in the middle of moving that big piano." Wufei pointed at the piano sitting in the corner of the living room. He didn't know how much it had cost Quatre to bring it from the colonies, but Quatre had said that he was attached to it, and didn't want to leave it behind. "Duo tripped with one of the boxes and lost his balance; he fell, and the piano fell on top of him."

Sally was still looking at the piano. Probably wondering how much it weighed. She had a very analytical mind.

"We managed to lift the piano enough for Duo to crawl out, but he wasn't moving. Later he told us that he was in too much pain to move." For a moment Wufei turned his eyes from Sally to the instrument. "Trowa and Quatre entered the living room moments after the accident. Trowa rushed to our side and helped us steady the piano." Wufei gave a small chuckle. "It might not look it, but that thing is heavy. I sprained my wrist because I didn't have a good grip on it."

"It's heavy," whispered Sally. "It must weight about a thousand pounds."

"Eleven hundred," said Wufei. Quatre had told them after the incident was over. "Three Gundam pilots to lift eleven hundred pounds."

"Don't be obsessed, Chang." Sally looked a bit annoyed, but her lips were still curling slightly. "Be grateful that you managed to lift the thing at all."

She was right; Wufei had to give her that. "Anyway, Duo finally managed to roll out from under the piano. We were distracted with Duo, so we didn't notice right away that Quatre was leaning heavily against the door, and holding his chest so hard that I thought he might be having a heart attack."

Wufei smiled slightly. "Quatre has the bad habit of putting everyone's interests before his. He told us that Duo had a broken rib. He wasn't near enough to give Duo a good look, but he spoke with such certainty..." Wufei looked at Sally. "You would have to see it to understand."

"You don't need to tell me." Sally waved a hand in the air. "I took care of him on Peacemillion after the last battle. The only way I could get him to relax was to sedate him."

"Sounds like him." Wufei leaned back on his chair.

"So," asked Sally, "was Quatre right?"

"Yes, he was." A lock of hair fell on Wufei's face. He pushed it behind his ear. "We took Duo up to his room to rest and to bandage his ribs. That's when he told us that when the piano had fallen he had felt his rib breaking." Wufei didn't need to explain. Sally had been a soldier too, and she was also a doctor. She had seen and experienced enough injuries to understand that, when you know your body, you can tell just by the pain what kind of injury you have. "Duo was convinced that he hadn't been able to move until, suddenly, the pain receded. Since then the pain hadn't been as sharp as before."

Sally was frowning. "Pain doesn't just stop, unless there's nerve damage."

Wufei nodded. "That's what I thought too. Then we realized that Quatre wasn't there with us and Trowa went to look for him. They came back soon. I could see that Quatre was in pain, just by looking in his eyes. Duo noticed too. It took us a while but we convinced him to tell us what was going on." He gave Sally a look. "If you've argued with him, then you know just how stubborn he can be."

Sully chuckled. "Just like another certain fellow I know."

"Quatre said that he was an empath," continued Wufei, ignoring Sally's remark. "We just looked at him silently, and I wondered if he had lost his mind." Wufei shrugged at Sally's hard look. Back then, he hadn't believed in psychic powers of any kind.

"He told us that he has the gift to feel people's emotions. He's had it for most of his life, and that the talent has been evolving; he is getting stronger all the time. At the beginning of the war he had felt a special connection with the four of us, and his gift is more powerful where we are concerned. He knows how to put shields around him so he won't feel our emotions all the time but when the emotions are too strong they can break his barriers." Wufei stopped for a moment, remembering how Heero had stiffened his shoulders when Quatre told him that he had felt him self-destruct.

"Quatre said that since he'd mastered the Zero system, his empathy has been getting stronger. Before, all he could do was feel a reflection of our emotions, but after, he was able to, as he said, 'take them away'." Wufei made the quotation marks with his fingers. "I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he could steal other people's emotions if he wanted to." Wufei stopped for a moment, to let Sally assimilate the new information. "He said that since the connection was stronger with us, he could steal almost an entire feeling."

Sally looked confused. Her mouth was slightly opened but she made no move to talk. She was just waiting for Wufei to continue.

Wufei tried to remember the example Quatre had used to explain it to them. "If, for example, he tries to help his secretary with her stress he can take some of it but she will still feel the emotion, just not as strong. With us he can take almost all the stress away so all that's left is a small shadow of it." Wufei took a moment to gather his thoughts. "Hearing that was disturbing. It isn't every day that one of your closest friends tells you that he's been in your mind and has also been stealing something that should be impossible to steal. Quatre also said that he wasn't able to take all the feelings away, only a specific kind: the bad ones – fear, pain, suffering, sorrow, loneliness."

Sally's eyes were wide. "I'm not sure I'm following this," she said, shaking her head slowly.

Wufei understood how difficult it was to comprehend, and to take in so much information at once. "Just listen now," he said in a calm voice. "Try to understand later."

"I don't know if the others believed him right away," Wufei continued, "or if, like me, they were thinking that he had gone mad. Duo asked Quatre what happened to those feelings he stole. It took a moment for Quatre to reply; he looked at each of us and gave us a small knowing smile, and simply said: I keep them."

Wufei took a deep breath. "It wasn't long before we understood what he meant, but I didn't believe him, and I said it. Apparently the others didn't think the same way I did. Quatre just asked me if he could prove it. I nodded; I didn't know what or how he could prove anything." He smiled at Sally. "I understood when suddenly the dull pain in my wrist almost disappeared. I remember his words. 'It is sprained; you should bandage it.' As soon as he had finished speaking the pain returned to me. After that, I couldn't be skeptical. He had demonstrated that what he'd said was true and he was honorable enough to ask for my permission before going through my head."

"So it's real," said Sally. It wasn't a question.

Wufei nodded. "Very much so."

"How did the others take it?" It was just like Sally to worry about everyone.

"Well, Heero just took it as another important fact, but I know he had a long talk with Quatre sometime after that. Duo offered his support, and then demanded that Quatre stop blocking his pain from him. He doesn't like to see anyone suffer because of him."

"And Trowa?" Sally looked a bit worried.

"Trowa was more difficult." Those had been tense days. Wufei had felt as awkward then as he felt now, telling Sally about it. However she needed to know if she was going to help Quatre. "By then Trowa and Quatre had been together for almost two months, not to mention that they had been very close during the war. Trowa felt betrayed somehow. He was mad at Quatre for not telling him and at himself for not noticing. I had never seen them acting that way. It lasted almost two weeks, but they care too much about each other to let something like that keep them apart. Eventually, they reached an understanding." Wufei paused. "That's why everything is complicated now. Trowa isn't mad at Quatre, because he knows that keeping that information away from him wasn't his choice, but we are all very worried."

Wufei didn't know exactly when it happened but before he realized it, Sally was in front of him, hugging him. She smiled warmly and tucked that stubborn lock of hair, that had fallen on his face again, behind his ear.

"Lunch is ready!" Duo shouted from the kitchen, so everyone in the big house could hear him.

Wufei looked up at Sally and smiled. An invisible barrier that had kept them apart before had just broken, and he was glad.

"Do you want me to go tell Heero and Trowa about lunch?" she asked.

"No. I'm sure they heard Duo."

Sally nodded and they went into the dining room. They could smell fried potatoes and BBQ sauce the moment they came through the door.

"Duo, are you cooking that unhealthy junk food again?" asked Wufei, pretending to be annoyed by his friend but, in fact, looking forward to some grease filled dinner for a change. Of course that didn't mean that the others should know about his secret enjoyment of the richly flavored dishes.

"Cat loves my BBQ wings," said Duo, coming out of the kitchen with a plate filled with said wings in one hand and a bowl with French fries in the other. "Now stop complaining, Wufei; even you need some flavor on your diet now and then."

Wufei sat beside Sally, silently pondering if Duo could read into his annoyed act. His thoughts were interrupted when Trowa and Quatre arrived. Quatre looked much better, the nap had been a good idea and the color had returned to his face. He smiled at everyone in the room as he took his seat.

"Now, where is Heero?" asked Duo, after he finished bringing the drinks to the table.

Heero walked into the room with some papers in his hands. "Here."

"So, did you find anything about Sheara?" Trowa asked, while he helped himself to some chicken wings.

"Not much. I know she used to work as head of the resource satellite Quatre used to live on but she vanished a month after the start of Operation Meteor. I haven't been able to locate her."

Quatre took a sip of his coke. "She is managing one of our satellites near the L4 colony. I talk to regularly; she calls constantly to ask for more funds. Lately she has been pretty insistent; she wants a large sum of money to start a new project. She'll go ballistic when she finds out that I won't be taking her calls for a few days."

"You talk to her?" Trowa didn't look impressed.

Quatre only nodded; he probably didn't want to talk too much and get another headache. By the look in his eyes, he was still suffering from the last one.

"When are you supposed to give her your answer?" Heero asked Quatre.

"I never told her when. She wants it right away but I said I needed time to review the project before I could make a decision."

"And have you?" asked Wufei.

"Not yet. I've been busy with other matters but I was thinking of doing that this week. The files must be in my office somewhere." Quatre took another large sip of his coke. "I'll call Cecilia and tell her to send them over with the rest of the paper work."

Heero nodded. "I would like to take a look at them."

Duo swallowed his last piece of chicken. "Just what are you planning now, Heero?"

"I don't know yet but I have a bad feeling about Sheara." His eyes were narrowed, the way they got when he was concentrating hard on something.

"Oh, I wonder why that is?" said Duo, his voice filled with sarcasm.

* * *

The rest of the meal was quiet. The five ex pilots had known each other for a long time and they no longer felt the need to talk to fill the silent moments with unnecessary words. Sally seemed equally comfortable with them and she too ate her food in silence. Quatre had just finished eating when the doorbell rang.

Trowa stood up and headed for the door. "I'll get it."

He returned a couple of minutes later with a box filled with papers. Quatre sighed the moment he saw them, he had a lot of work to do. If his friends hadn't insisted he would have never taken time off work. He had a lot to do, and if he stopped, he would lose his rhythm, and it would be harder to get back to the piles of paperwork later. After just half a day, he was already dreading reading the proposals, reports, complain letters, and all the other pieces of paperwork that no one but him could look over.

He went to the kitchen and got another coke can from the fridge. At least he would have some sugar to help him get by. "Just give me that, Trowa," he said when he returned to the dinning room. "I'd better start working if I want to ever sleep again." He was almost at the door when he turned around. "Are we going to continue with the hypnosis today?" he asked Sally.

She thought about it for a moment. "Well, even if you can't speak about your memories, you can show them to your friends." Sally bit her lip. "I was wondering if continuing with the hypnosis this soon could affect you or the others, but since you all have been just fine and Quatre has recovered his energy after his nap, I don't think there'll be a problem with it." She paused. "We can continue tonight after dinner, Quatre; you have the entire afternoon to yourself."

Quatre nodded and looked down at the mountain of papers he was supposed to read. 'Yeah,' he thought tiredly. 'All to myself.'

* * *

"What can I help you with, Mr. Winner?" asked Cecilia from the vid phone.

"Cecilia, do you remember the files that were sent from L4364XV a few days ago? I need them so if you could please send someone here with them, it would be great." Quatre turned around when he heard the door opening. Trowa walked in silently and stood behind Quatre, waiting for him to finish the conversation.

"Certainly, Mr. Winner. Anything else?"

"Any urgent messages?" asked Quatre, already fearing the answer.

Cecilia gave a soft chuckle before replying. "Everyone thinks their message is urgent, it's like they need you to take their hand and walk them through the simplest tasks, Mr. Winner." She smiled. "Don't worry, I told them that you weren't paying them so you could do their work for them." Another chuckle. "Don't look so concerned, Mr. Winner. Everything is just fine here; we can manage without you for a few days."

"Thank you, Cecilia, I don't know what I'd do without you," said Quatre, smiling. "Have any of my sisters called?"

"Let's see," she looked at some papers on her desk. "Mirna called at nine to ask about the new contractor for the Majestic project. I told her to call resources for the information. Yael called at nine forty-five about the L2563D shipment. I answered all her questions. Sheara called at ten fifteen; she wanted to know, again, if you had made a decision regarding the L4364XV funds. I told her that you would be away from the office for a few days but that you'll get back to her as soon as you have an answer. Needless to say, she wasn't pleased about it."

Quatre took a deep breath. "Anyone else?"

"Yes. Latife called at eleven. She said she is on Earth and would like to see you. She left a number to contact her."

Quatre smiled and told Cecilia to send him the number. He thanked his very efficient secretary for all her help and cut the connection.

"Are your sisters always this demanding of your time?" asked Trowa, hugging his boyfriend from behind.

"Kind of, but most of the calls are company related so they don't take long. I almost never talk with those who don't work for Winner Enterprises. Some of them call sometimes to ask for money, but I don't talk with my sisters who have their own jobs and don't need the company's support. We never got to know each other that well."

"Who is Latife?"

"She is one of my younger sisters; she is only seven years older than me. I actually met her a few years ago. After the war had finished and I took over Winner Enterprises, she tracked me down and called me; she wanted to meet me." Quatre took a moment to think of how to phrase his next sentence; he hated not being able to talk freely about his childhood. "She was in a boarding school on another colony with some of my other sisters while I was on L4. When she came home, the war had already started so we didn't have a chance to meet. At first, I thought that she wanted money or something like that but it turned out that she is a very successful genetics doctor. She lives on L1 in relative comfort and is happy. I don't see her much but every time we are in the same area, we talk. Last time I was still living on L4 so I guess I forgot to give her the number for the new place."

"You never said anything about her," said Trowa.

"I didn't, did I? I guess I forgot about her too; it's been so long since we last saw each other." Quatre sighed. "That's sad, she is one of the few I truly know."

"You should call her. I think it'll be good for you."

Quatre nodded and sat on the couch, a couple of folders on his lap. "If you don't have anything to do," he told Trowa, "you could keep me company."

Trowa smiled. "I was thinking of doing just that," he said, sitting on the couch beside Quatre. "That's why I brought this book with me."

Quatre smiled and rested his head on Trowa's shoulder. He opened the first folder. "And we have the afternoon all to ourselves."

* * *

Heero opened the door before the delivery man had time to ring the doorbell. He took the file from the man's hands and closed the door without a word. Heero had things to do and there was no time for formalities. If his suspicions about Sheara Winner were right, there was no time to waste.

* * *

TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

**Share my Thoughts**

**By Misanagi**

Rated: PG13

Archive: Gundanium Line

Warnings: angst, language.

Pairings: 3x4, 1x2, 5xS

Summary: Quatre seems different and the other pilots would do anything to find out what happened to him.

Timeline: After the Endless Waltz.

Notes: This is my first GW fanfic. I rewrote it and I'll be posting the chapters as soon as they are done. If you read this before (which I doubt), the plot is still the same, I just changed some style things.

Dedication: To Anne, for her patience. Thanks a lot for beta reading this, twice. gives her some chocolate to feed her addiction and some carrots to feed her bunnies

* * *

Chapter V

Heero didn't have a high opinion of Sheara Winner to begin with so he was not surprised that, after reading her project, his opinion of her fell even more. Sheara should count her blessings and be grateful that it was he and not Quatre who had read her project. Did she really think that Quatre wouldn't see right through all the lies and schemes she had dared called the L4364XV project?

Without any business training, Heero had no idea which was the best way to balance a budget or what were the right investments, but that file he had just read was so transparent that even a child would scream "fraud" after reading only a few lines. Heero didn't even want to think what Quatre would do with it.

Heero had been present at some of Quatre's meetings, and watched him in action. Quatre spoke with the confidence of someone who had been raised to lead, keeping always the polite smile but being ruthless when it was needed. He could be blunt and direct if the occasion called for it, which left his business associates glaring at him with open mouths, knowing that there wasn't anything left for them to do.

Sheara's project wasn't only insulting; it also smelled like a conspiracy waiting to happen. The Gundam pilot part of Heero took over. No one was entitled to take advantage of his friends, and though he knew they were perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, Heero was still going to protect them. One thing didn't cancel the other.

According to the project, Sheara was planning on hiring a contracting company called "REA" to do all the modifications that were needed on the satellite, supposedly to turn it into a more efficient aluminum producing factory. Heero didn't believe it. WEI Aluminum factories already were the most prolific ones and satisfied the costumers' demands without a single problem. Besides, Quatre would never expand a branch of WEI unnecessarily because it could monopolize that market, and that was something Quatre wasn't interested in. If the Aluminum factory on L4364XV expanded, it would violate WEI policies.

Heero wasn't exactly sure what Sheara was planning but he knew it couldn't be anything good. He opened his laptop and started searching for more information on "REA". The first files he found appeared to be legitimate. The company had a nice front and anyone who just wanted to do a routine check would be satisfied by what he or she saw. However, Heero wasn't easily fooled and he planned to dig as deeper as possible.

After some time of reading, hacking, digging and analyzing data, Heero gathered enough information to at least have a starting point.

A soft knock was heard at the door.

"Come in, Quatre," said Heero, immediately recognizing Quatre's movements and the way he knocked.

The door opened slowly and the Quatre entered. He was tired; Heero could see it in his eyes. He had probably spent the last hours catching up with work. Heero had thought that if there was a good thing about this mess it was that it forced Quatre to stay home, but judging from Quatre's appearance, he was still burying himself under paper work, only this time, he was doing it from home.

The rest of the pilots worked with the Preventers. They were an elite team sent to the most important missions, and they were involved with the planning and developing of many of the Preventers' operations. They did have the occasional exhausting missions but even that was better than what Quatre was doing. All those long hours and stress of taking care of the company were slowly draining Quatre's strength. Quatre was also listed as a non active Preventer but, when a situation required his expertise, he always helped.

At first Heero had thought that Quatre's sporadic work with the Preventers wasn't a very good idea and that it could be more stressful for him. However, Trowa had explained how those little moments when Quatre could break his routine were the very thing that kept him going. Quatre was a Gundam pilot and an ordinary life wasn't something he could get easily used to.

"You should rest. You are under a lot of stress already," said Heero.

"I know that, Heero, but there's always work to be done." The helpless look on Quatre's face made Heero swallow hard.

"Not always by you," Heero pointed out.

Quatre sighed. "Sometimes, most of the time, that's not true."

Heero gave his friend a serious look. "The fate of the world doesn't always rest on your shoulders, Quatre. You taught me that in the war; try to remember it."

There was no reply.

"I guess you came for this," said Heero and handed Quatre the file.

Quatre nodded and took it. He opened it, read a few lines and looked back at Heero. "Did you read this?"

Heero nodded.

"Is it as bad as it appears to be?"

Another nod.

"I don't like this." Quatre's eyes narrowed. "I'm sure Sheara is planning something."

"And Andrés Rea is helping her somehow," stated Heero.

Quatre returned his eyes to the file and quickly read over the information. "Is he the owner of REA's industries?" he asked after a moment.

"Yes. The information on Rea is far too secure; he has something to hide."

"Have you found anything interesting about him yet?" asked Quatre, still looking at the file.

"Not yet," answered Heero, but it was only a matter of time before he did.

"I'll check this myself to see if I can find anything more about it. Meanwhile, I think I'll avoid Sheara for a little longer. I want to let her think that she still has a chance to get that money." He was almost out the door when he stopped and added, "by the way, dinner is ready."

Heero closed his laptop and followed his friend downstairs. Just before they arrived at the dining room, Heero put a hand on Quatre's arm, stopping their progress. "Quatre, does Sheara know you were a Gundam pilot?"

Quatre blinked, took a deep breath and then said a simple "yes."

* * *

Duo sat on one of the living room love seats with Heero at his side. Trowa was sitting on a chair to Quatre's left and Wufei was using the other love seat. Dinner was over and everyone was getting ready for another hypnosis session. Sally had said that she was feeling very comfortable since she already knew what was going to happen and wouldn't be scared half to death when everyone fell unconscious for no apparent reason.

Quatre lay again on the sofa and Sally sat on a chair beside him, but this time, she positioned it in so she was able to see all the occupants of the room at the same time.

"Remember what I told you earlier, Quatre. You need to keep you mind open or this won't work." Sally turned and looked at the rest of them. "This goes for you too. I need you to pay attention to my voice and relax your minds. I don't know exactly how Quatre's empathy works but I do know that you need to trust us, him and me, for this to work. Can you do that?"

Sally received five nods in return and that was all she was waiting for.

"Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and relax with each breath that you take. In just a moment I am going to have you open your eyes and look at me. I will then count from three down to one. On the count of one your eyes will close again and your whole body will feel loose and limp. Now, I want you to open your eyes and try to keep them open until I reach the number one."

"Three, your eyes are feeling heavy, try to hold them open."

"Two, almost there, on the count of one they may close and feel wonderful."

"One, eyes closing and sleep."

"You are no longer here, where are you?"

* * *

Duo felt dizzy for a moment. The last time they had done this, he had felt dizzy too, but at least now he knew what was going on.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes.

The first thing he noticed was that it was dark. He was standing in the corner of a room. Everything was quiet and peaceful, except for the uneven breaths he could hear coming from the bed. It took only a moment before Duo's eyes adjusted to the darkness and he was able to look at his surroundings.

It was a big and elegant room, decorated with a few paintings and with only three pieces of furniture: a bookshelf, a night stand and a big bed.

As Duo suspected, the bed had only one occupant: Quatre.

He looked a little older that in the last memory but not by much. His blond hair was a little longer and his eyes were shut tightly as he thrashed around in bed. He was having a nightmare.

Duo knew a nightmare when he saw one; he was an expert. Actually, all of them had their share of nightmares. The wars and previous events had condemned them to unpleasant nights for the rest of their lives. Sometimes, it was worst than others and there were those precious and peaceful nights when they had meaningless dreams.

Quatre's breathing was getting faster and more irregular by the minute and then he started to convulse.

Without thinking about it, Duo rushed to the bed. He tried to put his arms on Quatre's shoulders and hold him, but Duo's hands passed right through Quatre's skin.

"Shit!" he cussed loudly, as he was forced to do nothing but watch his best friend having a really bad episode, without anyone to help him.

The attack finally stopped and Quatre slowly opened his eyes. He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself. The boy was covered in sweat and completely exhausted after the convulsions.

He hadn't managed to even his breathing when the door opened and Sheara walked in. Duo glared at the woman the moment he saw her. Nothing good could come from her, he already knew that. Sheara should pray that she would never meet Duo Maxwell; he didn't know how much of his control he could keep if he was ever in her presence.

"Bitch!" he said to her, knowing that he wouldn't be heard.

Sheara closed the door behind her and walked straight towards Quatre's bed. "Don't you know that there are more people living in this house? Do you think that four in the morning is an hour to be playing around?"

Duo's attention had left Sheara before she even began speaking. He had glanced at Quatre and he had noticed that the boy's breathing was quieter, his eyes were closed tightly and his hands were clenching against his chest. He was obviously in some sort of pain and apparently trying to keep it under control.

"Are you ignoring me? How dare you! It is all a game to you, isn't it? You have to learn responsibility."

"I…" Quatre's voice sounded weak and tired. "I'm a disgrace to the Winner name." That last part was said in such a sad voice that Duo could feel his eyes watering. This was not Quatre; he would never say something like that about himself.

The blond shook his head once, opened his eyes and looked straight into Sheara's, his hands still grasping his chest. "You really hate me," he said, in a voice a bit louder than before. "You are not just angry at me. You hate me."

Sheara was quiet. For a moment she just looked at Quatre, anger filling her eyes. "Of course I hate you!" she said finally. "You are not worthy of all you have, you don't deserve it."

Quatre blinked once and directed his eyes to the far wall of the room, looking right through where Duo was standing. Duo had never seen such an agonizing look on Quatre's face before. The boy looked broken.

"Hate is such a horrible feeling," Quatre said. "I had never felt something like this before. It's torture." He looked back at his sister. "How do you live with this? How can you stand feeling something so awful each minute of the day?" His hands were holding his chest more tightly with every word he spoke. "I'm sorry."

"You what?" yelled Duo. He was completely ignored by the other two occupants of the room. Duo had known Quatre for a long time and he considered the blond ex pilot more than his friend, he thought of him as a brother. He knew the way Quatre's brain worked and he knew he was more compassionate than everyone he had ever met, but this was ridiculous. How could he feel sorry for a woman that had just said that he hated him? A person who had obviously made his life hell?

Duo's thoughts were interrupted by Sheara's voice, and she was not happy. "You do not pity me! You are worthless; you don't have the right to feel sorry for me!" The woman took a step towards Quatre, getting ready to hit him. Duo closed his fists and gritted his teeth, he felt helpless and that wasn't a feeling he liked.

Sheara stopped the blow when she heard footsteps coming. She quickly took a step back and lowered her hand.

The door opened and a tall man wearing an elegant silk robe walked in.

"Father," said Sheara as she bowed her head in a silent greeting.

"What's going on here?" asked the man standing at the door.

"Quatre woke me up," said Sheara. "He was making noise."

"Quatre, is that what happened?"

The blond blinked a couple of times and then his eyes were fixed on his father. He was looking at him as if he was seeing him for the first time. The sadness, that had been the most noticeable thing on Quatre's eyes a moment before, was almost gone, and Duo could see a new feeling there… hope.

"I was having a nightmare, Father." said Quatre. "I'm sorry I disturbed you."

"Do you think you can sleep now?" asked the man.

"Yes, Father."

"Very well. Have a good night," said Quatre's father, and he left the room.

Sheara glared at Quatre before walking to the door. "Stop looking so proud of yourself," she said. "You have nothing to be proud of."

"I do," said Quatre, keeping his eyes on Sheara and losing the tight grip on his chest. "He does love me."

Sheara ignored her brother and left the room, closing the door behind her. Quatre smiled once before lying in bed and closing his eyes, his breathing even and peaceful.

* * *

Duo opened his eyes. He was soon met with the dark blue eyes of Heero Yuy. "Good morning. Sleep well?" he asked his lover, and managed to get a smirk out of him.

"I had disturbing dreams," answered Heero.

Duo sighed. "That's an understatement," he said.

After taking a moment to accommodate himself on his seat, Duo looked around. Wufei was on his seat, Sally was still on her chair and Quatre was rising from his lying position on the couch to make room for Trowa.

"So, did it work?" asked Sally.

"I would say so," said Duo. The other three just nodded.

"Quatre, are you feeling okay?" Sally took Quatre's wrist in her hand to check his pulse.

"Yeah, just a little tired."

"That's normal," she replied and gave him a small smile. "So, did you see something useful?" she asked the others.

Duo crossed his legs on the chair and looked at Quatre. "Was that what I think it was?"

Quatre gave a small nod and looked at the hand Sally had held. "Yes, that was the first time."

"What was it?" Sally asked, obviously curious. "What did you see?"

"That was the first time his empathy manifested," answered Trowa. "And the first alien emotions he felt were Sheara's."

* * *

Duo couldn't sleep. His eyes were open and fixed on the closed window in front of him. His head was resting on his pillow and his arms were crossed beneath it. The blanket was half way down his back, only covering the lower part of his body. He heard Heero move but stayed still. Soon he felt soft fingers making circular patterns on his back and Heero's breath on his neck.

"You are worried," said Heero softly.

Duo sighed. "I just don't like this. I don't like this at all."

The fingers kept moving, this time applying a little more pressure. "Quatre is strong. Have faith in him."

"I do." Duo turned around and found himself face to face with Heero. "But, there are so many questions," he sighed. "They're driving me crazy!"

Heero remained silent, his hands now caressing Duo's chest.

"I don't understand why someone would want to block something like Quatre's empathy." Duo continued. "It doesn't make sense; he has talked about his empathy before so that is obviously not the issue. It's something else that happened that night, but what?"

"I don't know," answered Heero, and his fingers suddenly stopped. "But everything is pointing to Sheara so far."

"I swear, the day I find that bitch—"

"Stop!" said Heero, putting a hand above Duo's face. "Don't say something you would regret. Remember. You never lie."

Duo kissed Heero's hand and then gently moved it away from his mouth. "I'm just so angry…"

"I know; we all are." Heero gave him a kiss. "Try to sleep now. Tomorrow is going to be another long day."

Duo closed his eyes and rested his head on Heero's chest, hoping to have a one of those wonderful meaningless dreams.

* * *

TBC

* * *

Notes:

1I stole this. I completely stole this hypnosis technique from here: http/ Go and have a look. All the hypnosis techniques are coming from there from now on.


End file.
